6 of 24

Write now Article Tools

You can't force someone to like you or mind their own business. Honestly, mother-in-laws can be some of the nosiest, most vindictive people on that planet. The thing about mother-in-laws do have a lot of time and emotion invested in their children. Most parents out there can understand this and even relate. But some mother-in-laws have trouble letting their children go, and that can spell disaster for the spouse!

Some tips for dealing with a mother-in-law are:
Whatever you do, do NOT get into an argument or confrontation with her and try to force your spouse to take sides. It isn't fair to drag your spouse into the middle of drama between their own mother and yourself.

Try to avoid conflict or argument at all costs, even if it means just walking away until you cool off.

DO talk to your spouse about the issue with their mother, and see what their opinion is on the matter. Try to take your spouse's lead in dealing with his/her mother, and make sure not to come across to your spouse as if you are trying to force them to take sides or "tattling" on their mother.

You and your spouse should NEVER vent your problems to either set of parents, or any other family members. Family members are often too close to you and your spouse to be objective or neutral, and they usually already feel they have a right to get involved in your marriage because they are family. To avoid this, neither of you should talk about problems with anyone else.

Try to remember that your mother-in-law most likely really does have your spouse's best interests at heart, after all, that is her child. Remembering that this woman is your spouse's mother, and loves your spouse, can go a long way towards at least being able to have a civil relationship with her.

Accept the fact that your spouse loves his/her mother, and that their mother will always be a part of their life. Don't try to compete with your mother-in-law for your spouse's time, attention, or loyalty.

If you think you might be able to resolve things with your mother-in-law, have a calm conversation with her, tell her how you feel, and ask her what she feels a good solution to the problem might be. This is also helpful to try if she involves herself in business between you and your spouse as well.

If all else fails, use the "smile and nod" technique, and just try to limit how much time you are around your mother-in-law. Don't be rude, abrupt or ignore her, just remain calm and civil.

Obviously, despite all efforts, sometimes you just can't get along with someone or be around them. That's ok, just don't put your spouse in the middle. Take the "high road" and do not allow your mother-in-law to goad you into confrontations or drag you down to her level by being spiteful or hateful.

Dealing with in-laws can be a tricky thing, but, all attempts at peace should be made. You do have one thing in common with your in-laws, your spouse!

Learn more about this author, Julie Vincent.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Tips for dealing with a mother in law?
We want to hear your view. Write now!