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of pain from his emotional barbs needed to end.

His toxic ways have robbed him of getting to know his niece and nephews. Though they are adults living as neighbors near my husband and me, they, too, shy away from him knowing his nature. He has also denied himself the privilege and pleasure of knowing his great nieces and nephews, some of whom he's never laid eyes on though we all live within an hour's drive of his home. Interestingly, he hasn't visited us either, though the highway runs both ways.

Now, another question comes to mind. What should you do if someone you know has a toxic person in their life, and it's bothering you to see them brought low by that individual?

Usually, the worst thing you can do is speak against the toxic person. As with many of us, it may well be your friend's nature to defend them, making excuses for him or her, and even may expect them to change, which is most doubtful. To deride toxic individuals to others will hardly ever set well, and may spoil any positive influence you might have.

It is my opinion that the best stance is to be there for them, and though not easy at times, be a good listener. Let them talk about their toxic friend, family member, or whomever, and the negative effects they are experiencing.

Once it's clear that they are indeed in a toxic relationship, it might help to indirectly teach them about such people. By indirectly, I mean simply present the information to give them the necessary skills to identify the signs and symptoms of toxic behavior, and the effects they have on others. This may be done through personal experience as I'm doing here, or through experiences of other people. You might even bring up the topic during a general conversation by telling them you read an interesting article about it. Done properly, it will in no way point an accusing finger at the toxic person in question, but will hopefully enable the victim to recognize what is happening in their own relationship and allow them to make educated decisions as to how best to deal with it.

It is my sincere hope that should you find you are a toxic person, you will reconsider your actions not only for the sake of those around you, but for your own benefit as well. And I also hope for the rest of you, that you're spared the pain of toxic relationships, though they aren't uncommon. Either way, whether you are a toxic person, or are the victim of one, understanding is the beginning of change.

Learn more about this author, Pat Sumpter.
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