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of acceptance, approval, and generally wishing for returned love that never comes.

You then need to ask yourself, which is the lesser of two evils? Is it better to suffer the pain of giving up and walking away once and for all, or to hang onto the constant anguish and heartache? The initial pain of leaving usually lessens in time, where remaining in the company of a toxic person keeps tearing at open wounds as long as you're with them.

What should you do if you realize you're a toxic person? Begin analyzing what it is you do and say that upsets other people, and learn to bridle your actions and words. Put yourself in other's shoes and ask yourself if you'd like to be treated as you are treating them? If you don't correct your behavior, you may end up a sad, lonely person once others tune into the fact you continually hurt them and make them unappy.

I am writing this out of personal experience, as I have actually walked the walk. I had to go so far as to give up my older brother - 12 years older, to be more exact. In all honesty, I can say I always adored him, and even writing this is harder than you know. I loved him with every fiber of my being, and beneath all the pain he's caused, I still do, but I had to put distance between him and myself.

It took me many years to realize the terrible effect he had on me whenever I was around him. As the old saying goes, "Love is blind." He was friendly, but condescending at the same time. He said and did subtle things that cut to the core and he seemed to take pleasure in them. In short, he delighted in making me feel less, and himself more, at my expense.

For years I refused to give up on him, and kept bouncing back much as a friendly puppy might after being kicked, only hoping for acceptance and perhaps an occasional pat on the head. I let him know how much I cared for him, and was given another kick each time.

The end came during a phone conversation when he told me, "You were considered an interloper." He was referring to my being born into the family. That, and his remark that the only reason Mom and Dad had me was because they were having marital problems and Dad was trying to make sure Mom wouldn't leave him, were the final straws.

There is only so much a person can take - only so much a person can bounce back from, and he hit my limit. Where I'm certain he expected me to continue chasing after him, I haven't. Yes, it hurts to think I may never see my brother again though he lives only 60 miles away, but the many years

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