Technology has made a lot of things easier for us these days. Unfortunately, one of the things that it has made easier for some people is to cheat on their partners. Some people have this notion that online affairs are not considered cheating because of the lack of physical contact. On the contrary, infidelity is defined as unfaithfulness or disloyalty. I bet most (if not all) people would never engage in an online affair with the full knowledge of their partner. The pain inflicted by an online affair is just as real as the pain inflicted of a sexual affair.

It has happened to a lot of my friends before, and their common question was, "How could I have missed it?" There are some red flags to look out for when looking for signs that your partner is involved in an online affair, based on my friends' experiences with their own erring partners.

A CHANGE IN ROUTINE
If you've been a couple long enough, you're probably more in tune with your partner's habits and routines. If there's a noticeable change in his/her routine, it may not automatically mean that there's something wrong going on, but it won't hurt to look into it. If you live with your partner, a change in sleep patterns to go online at different (probably unexpected) times of the day may be a red flag.

A CHANGE IN ATTITUDE
Most people who are involved in an affair have noticeable attitude changes. Some may become overly attentive, much more than before. Probably to assuage the guilty feelings brought about by the affair. Some become emotionally distant, unable to respond to you like he or she used to respond. Also, your partner may become more secretive, minimizing windows when you pass behind while he or she uses the computer, not opening his or her email or instant message account when you're around, or locking the door while he or she uses the computer. These may start out as telltale signs in the beginning, but as the affair progresses, your partner may become more and more distant from you.

COVERING TRACKS
If you check the browser history and cookies of your partner's computer and see that it is often cleared, especially when he logs out, this can be a red flag too. Especially if he or she never did that on a daily basis. Still, this isn't very conclusive because some people do clear their history and cookies before logging out of their computers. Again, it boils down to a deviation from the normal routine.

Of course,there are ways for you to find out for sure. There are some software you can install on computers to generate reports about a user's browsing history, as well as every email, chat, and file he or she opens, but that's hardly an emotionally healthy way of dealing with things like this. Trust issues like this one are hard to come to terms with. For me, the best way to tackle the issue is to come clean and be honest with your partner regarding your doubts. Tell your partner about the little signs that you've been observing from him or her, and give your partner the chance to prove that you're wrong. If your partner clams up and starts being overly defensive, then there might be some truth to your doubts. Short of installing parental control software or spyware on his or her computer, you really can't be 100% sure that your partner is not cheating on you online, unless he or she fesses up, or if you accidentally catch him or her in the act.

Learn more about this author, webmistress.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Signs your spouse is involved in an online affair?
We want to hear your view. Write now!