How can I be assertive rather than passive and what is the most loving approach to take? Assertiveness is I think related to self value. If we truly value and love ourselves perhaps we would be more assertive.

But assertiveness is not so much defending anything as it is to showing the other person that you too have ideas that can be listened to because you too are soul and valuable in your own right. The most loving thing to always do is to be your true self, soul. Soul is naturally loving. To be assertive is only to realise that you as soul have the free right to be you, as long as you are not transgressing onto another's freedom or restricting them by insisting too assertively that it then turns to aggressive defence of your position rather than a loving sharing of who you are.

The difference is a fine line but also very clear-cut. Being and sharing and loving are all behaviours that are freeing for you and establish connections with others without stepping on or creating boundaries or separation. Once you create an artificial boundary or separation you tend then to want to defend it. And so the position, once constructed will usually be constructed with defences attached and you will more aggressively defend your own constructions. It is always better not to create any barrier or position but to remain flexible and to allow what happens to bring out more of the real you rather than to defend what is already out there. Just allow more of you to share, with extra explanation and communication to allow further exploration and assertively keep being you and loving from you and so loving to them.

Lack of assertiveness is also showing you that you don't value your own life too much. Your at the bottom of the pile, you feel overlooked and that your position is not worth defending. You feel that others don't value you either. The way to feel self confident and know your own self worth, is to go forth and realise your value to God. Every soul is valuable. Know that and treat yourself with assertive respect and love yourself with loving genuineness. Some think that aggressive behaviour involving violence and shoving others aside is the way ahead. But all need to realise, that we are already always where we need to be, and we should always go ahead by helping others and not by stepping on others. Love is a lifter not a mat to allow others to step on. Love is to bring to you the feeling of helping others by helping yourself. Not helping yourself by ignoring

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