by Susannah Morgan

Created on: November 13, 2007

Recently, my beautiful daughter Samantha, passed from this world into the next. She went quietly in her sleep. Her death was a shock to all her family and friends because she had been getting progressively better from a chronic disease that she'd battled for 17 years.

Samantha, her two sisters and I have lived this life with a strong belief in the Spiritual world, in paranormal as normal to those who see, in psychic phenomenon as part of life. Not to say that we sit around looking into crystal balls, hum mantras ad nauseum, or believe everything the Tarot readers and astrologers tell us, but we know with certainty that life goes on after death.

So why are we finding it so immensely difficult to be happy for Samantha who is now free and out of pain? Why do our hearts hurt with the grief of it, even with the strange things that have been happening. Children's electronic toys turn on and off and on again for no reason. Dolphins jump in the ocean where they've never been before. The CD player in my car will not play some CDs one day but will on the next. My two large dogs sit following an unseen presence crossing the room with their eyes. A marvelous calmness flows into my body when I'm upset.

Scientists or Quantum Physicists will tell you that everything is energy; that a person's residual energy remains for a time after they've gone. Counselors will tell you about the stages of grief; how believing that your deceased loved one is with you is just another stage.

Well, I'm here to tell you this: No uncontrolled energy flow can turn a bunch of toys on and off by itself, or cause dolphins to appear and jump on command or make you calm in spite of all the reasons you have to be upset. Behind everything is spirit and spirit controls matter and energy. Sam's spirit, the essence of her is with me. My grief is in not being able to hug her, to go to the movies with her, see her beautiful smile, or watch her long blond hair blowing in the wind. But, if I sit very still and listen, I can hear her laughing, I can see her messing with the things around me just to say that's she's alive and well.

I don't know how long it will take for the grief of missing her physical presence to resolve. I do know that there are no goodbyes as long as there is love.

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