There was a time when infidelity was a fairly easy concept to grasp. Someone involved in a mutually exclusive relationship finally gives in to their wandering eye, one thing leads to another, and a cheater is born. It doesn't matter if it's a one-shot deal or an on-going affair; the fact remains that someone stepped outside of their relationship to fulfill a need presumed to be absent.

With the advent of Internet technology, however, the above scenario has become a bit more complex. There is no shortage on-line of websites and chat rooms devoted entirely to meeting new people and forming romantic relationships, and because the user controls exactly how much information he or she is willing to provide, the temptation exists to throw honesty out the window, becoming an entirely different person.

For those involved in troubled relationships or marriages, that usually translates to "single."

What can make it even more confusing is that men and women seem to disagree on the severity of these on-line hook-ups. A recent study conducted by the University of Washington found that men seem to have a more cavalier attitude to on-line flirting and chatting than women, owing in large part to the perceived anonymity that is possible on the net.

Whatever the case, new technology, with all of its bells and whistles, is creating a stress on relationships that was unheard of even a decade ago. The consequences of on-line affairs can be just as damaging as physical ones, creating the same feelings of rejection and emotional abuse. Those caught up in on-line affairs tend to spend the majority of their free time on-line with their new friends, or hiding their liaisons from their partners, leaving little or no time to cultivate their actual relationship, careating a sense of mistrust in the process.

There is also the inherent risk of the cyber affair turning into a real one. According to Ruth Houston, author of "Is He Cheating on You?-829 Telltale Signs," 50 percent of people who engage in on-line chats make phone contact with someone they chatted with, 30 percent make face-to-face contact and 31 percent have an on-line conversation that leads to a real sexual encounter.

Perhaps the most foolproof test of whether you're involved in a cyber affair is your level of comfortability with your partner sitting beside you at the computer as you chat. If your Internet "friendship" is as harmless as you would want your partner to believe, you should have no trepidation of him or her looking over your shoulder.

If you are unable to do that, it's time to reevaluate where you are in the relationship.

Learn more about this author, Don Cogger.
Click here to send author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Cyber cheating: How to know if you're involved in an online affair?
We want to hear your view. Write now!