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'I am never going to have any children mum!' that is how I used to dismiss motherhood when I was a young woman. The thought of having children, going through the pain of childbirth and the responsibility that came after that pain was something I was never going to allow myself to undergo, unlike my mother who had undergone it 6 times! What had she been thinking?

Well, that had been my original plan until I got married and realised that I was pregnant! The whole experience of being pregnant took on a completely different meaning; it was scary but exciting at the same time. I was going to have my own baby and every month my body did something new as it prepared me for that big day. Labour as someone has rightfully called it is indeed a very laborious task! To bring forth another human being in this world is not something to be trivialised as is evident from the whole process of childbirth. The hours spent in waves of pain are a lonely experience no matter how much support you may have around you. It is the joint effort between you and your body to work together and bring forth that tiny individual into this world. And what a wonderful feeling it is to finally hold that baby in your arms! The pain is forgotten, all that you know is that you have in your arms the best present that anyone could have given you and this baby is yours to love and look after. You do not care if it is a boy or a girl as long as your baby is healthy and well.

Gradually as time passes you realise the responsibility that comes with this gift of motherhood. Your child is now turning into a young adult and this brings with it all the problems of growing up, the tantrums, the changes in behaviour, the demands and a lot more. This is the time when you need the patience of a saint. You have to be there for your child in good times and in bad, you have to listen to what he or she has to say in order to understand what is going on in their lives. There are times when you wish you had done things differently but there is no turning back and you have to deal with things as they happen.

I am a mother of three young women who are all in their twenties and looking back I wonder how I coped. I have realised that you are never born a good parent. Parenting skills come to you as life unfolds. You learn as you go along and sometimes you wish you had handled things differently but such is life. It never gives you a chance to rewind and start again but it allows you to make a difference the moment you realise you can make a difference.

Communicating with your children, giving them love and understanding and being there for them in good times and bad is a good and solid foundation to build on.

Motherhood isn't the easiest of roles to play as it is a role where your actions and words will affect an individual's life in a profound way. As a mother, therefore, I felt it was my duty to do the best I could for my children who had come into the world because I had wanted them to, not because they wanted to. The least I could do was to show them how much they were loved and to help them make the best of their lives.

As James Russell Lowell quotes 'The best academy is a mother's knee'

Learn more about this author, Shaheen Darr.
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