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I could be mean, I could be cold. I could let this broken heart unfold. I could be selfish, I could pity myself. I could dwell in this pain and go to hell. I've seen things a little girl shouldn't see, no. I've done things I'm not proud of but it goes to show. The type of woman I'm becoming. The type of person I want to be. I'm not gonna let the darkness drag me in. Say hello, let's begin...

I could break a the drop of hat, I could cry over every little thing. I could get angry and sputter obscene words, but honestly it aint my scene. I could bury myself in the pain of all my lost loved ones. I could scream out I hate you at a few certain someones. But that's not for me. Not in this life I lead. Forget what I used to do. I've got myself to prove. I'm not gonna allow darkness to drag me in. Say hello, now let's begin...
I'm removing the black out of my life. I'm starting over, doing this right. I'm not afraid to hurt, so let me fall. I'll take it in, later release it all. On paper so thin. Shattered tears fallen. I'm not so frail anymore. I don't feel so poor. I'm growing up finally. Meet this, sophisticated me.
Forget everything you think you know about me. Because you will Never know the real me. The girl's whose felt so much pain I should be fallen down. The girl who holds it all in to later cry it all out. I've seen alcoholism, the disease. Mourned suicides without ease. Lost too many loved ones to count on both hands. I haven't accomplished any of my plans. Lost my cousin, went to work to see the guy who hit her the next day. Witnessed my best friend's accident, her niece's death, and it made me so afraid. But I'm here today standin with my head high. Sometimes I give in and I cry. But don't you ever think you will bring me down. After all this, I stand my ground. No one can test me and win. Because I will NEVER give in. I will always stand on my own two feet. I will never give in to defeat. No not me. Got me wrong, you don't know me.
I'm not shattered or broken. Just living and hoping. That my brother will come home safe from Iraq a second time. Crackhead uncle will not take his life. I'm hoping that at the end of the day, I am still alive.

Learn more about this author, Melita K Ferrell.
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