56 of 372

Write now Article Tools

Do Real Men Cry

I probably shouldn't admit to something like this because it might not endear me to the tough guy crowd, but sometimes I've been known to cry. And I'm never quite sure if this is normal or not.

I happen to be a fairly large and muscular guy. I work out regularly and I'm able to lift poundages that would make Arnold proud. I'm also aware that my physical presence can be intimidating, judging by the way fellow gym rats step aside for me to pass. I am big and muscular...and I cry.

When my beloved cat of fifteen years recently died, I was inconsolable. I gave in to the full out quivering lip and all, sobbing like a baby. I think you have the picture and believe me, it wasn't a pretty sight.

And whenever I have cried like that, I think of my mental list of tough guys to see if I can recall a similar loss of emotional control on their part, whether they be a Hollywood tough guy or one of my sporting idols.

For isn't this a measure of how tough a man really is? You've seen the movies where a guy's
at war and his buddy dies in his arms? A lot of times, not a single tear is shed. They suck it up like real men because crying isn't viewed as a manly characteristic. And crying in public is the ultimate taboo for the supposed tough guy.

I remember during the 9/11 attacks, I had to report for jury selection. I was listening to my car radio as the Twin Towers collapsed, and I began to cry and shake with anger while yelling at God and the universe, while punching my steering wheel.

Again, not a very pretty sight for anyone to behold. So when I arrived at the court parking lot, I had to clean myself up a bit for fear that it would be evident I'd been crying.

When I sat down and surveyed the courtroom, all I could see were red eyes and flushed faces. The presiding judge notified us that he was dismissing us all from the days' responsibilities 'due to the terrible events that had transpired', and then took off his glasses and gently dabbed his eyes without shame.

I'll always remember the sense of relief I felt in knowing I was not the only man who had needed to cry, and that maybe tears were not a sign of weakness after all. Perhaps having the ability to recognize that there exists a time and place for all to cry is the true measure of a 'tough guy'.

Learn more about this author, Shane Christensen.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Reflections: Self-reflection?
We want to hear your view. Write now!