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If it's true that at the time of the incident Duane was using that language consistently, then I can't in good conscience say he was not a racist. It should be noted that he wasn't just using the "N" word, he was telling his son not to marry a black woman because he was afraid that if she were around, she would hear him use that word.

He may not be a racist now though. Anyone can learn how not to be a racist. The first step is to just stop using that word. If you think that under certain circumstances it's OK to use that word then you're a racist. If you don't think so, then you're living in denial. Why is it necessary to use racist words under any circumstances? There can't be any gray area. If we keep saying it's OK under certain circumstances then it'll never end. It's not like racism is oxygen that we need to breathe or food or water that we need to consume.

Put yourself in other people's shoes. Would you want someone to offend you or your mother or loved ones or friends in any way? Of course not. So try to keep that in mind when you think about using words that offend other people.

How seriously do we take racism? I'm sure you can identify certain words in your mind that you would never dare utter, whether it's a racist term or something else. Do you have a family member or know someone you care about who has a mental illness, has died a certain way, has a certain heritage, has married into a certain heritage, has been wronged in any way...etc. Think about it seriously because I'm guessing that if someone were to come up to you and use a word or expression that made light of or seriously offended you based on one of those points - especially if they knew how sensitive you were about it - you would not be happy at all.

Again, it really boils down to putting yourself in other people's shoes. Before you use a term or expression that could offend people, ask yourself "Would you like it if someone used a term or expression that could hurt or offend you or someone you cared about?" "

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