As you are excitedly packing your bags to go off to college chances are your parents are in the next room crying, arguing, or sitting in a dazed shock wondering what happened to the last 18 years. Transitioning through this time of departure brings out any number of emotions in a parent, fear being chief among them. There are many simple things you can do to help calm mom and dad during this time of family turmoil. These little steps taken in a spirit of love and respect will serve to head off conflict and soothe the frazzled nerves of your worried parents.

1.) Accept the fact that kids going away is difficult for parents. Cut them a little slack. They will probably be more edgy, distracted, bossy, or argumentative than usual. Don't take this personally. Keep the situation in perspective and don't overreact when they say or do things that rub you the wrong way. You can respond to an unfair remark by saying, "I know this is hard for you. It's going to be OK". By keeping your cool and handling situations created by flustered parents well, you not only diffuse tension in the home but you are reassuring your nervous guardians that you are going to be able to manage without them. The source of a parents fear about a child leaving for college is usually concern about whether their child is going to make it flying solo. Extinguish that paranoia by acting in a mature and responsible manner the weeks before leaving home.

2.) Plan to spend some quality time with your family before you move out. Being proactive about this will flatter and delight your parents who still need to feel like they hold a place of importance in your life. Take a walk with mom and tell her about your dreams. Listen to her stories about leaving home. Assure her that you are going to take care of yourself and keep in touch as often as possible. Go out to dinner with dad or play a round of golf. Men like to talk about serious things while engaged in activity. Even if you just take a trip to the hardware store together, do something where you can share a heart to heart. Be ready to address his concerns and listen to his advice. This will remind him that you are a grown up and increase his desire to support you in the study of your choosing.

3.) Say a proper goodbye. Whether you share a special dinner, spend the evening pouring over old photo albums and reminiscing, or just sit down together and go over the moving day check list, make it a pleasant farewell. You

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