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Chinesea things," but then settles back in the sofa when the next movie begins. At night I chat with a pair of Israeli girls who confide, "We come China to experience culture, but here have too many Israeli backpacker; we can't escape ourselves!" And meet a young American beatnik double fisting bottles of Snow and Tsingtao ("Dude, they're both, like, water!") trying to round up a group to go to the Pot Palace. It dawns on me that while all these kids are literally blazing through the world looking for a good time, I've somehow remained the consummate professional. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I'm ten years older than the average backpacker. At midnight Sven comes in jovially exclaiming that he found the local pink-light district up by the train station. I've wondered where he's been disappearing too lately.

Day 6: Tex-Mex again for lunch (fifth day in a row!), followed by the Japanese classic Battle Royal.' A German guy who hasn't left the DVD room in ten days says that the lazy hostel life is sucking him in. I realize myself that as I still have 12 more provinces to go, I need to either get back on the road or establish permanent residence at the Stir-Fry. It's a hard choice, but I ultimately opt for the former. Pickle is having his own dilemma. He had been trying to sell his motorcycle, but the local buyers he lined up cut their offer in half at the last minute. "I'll be damned if I give in to those thieving b*st*rds. I'd rather drive my bike into the Chengdu River!" he shouts as he revs off down the street. I don't know if he's serious, but we never see the motorbike again. At 11pm I watch a baijiu drinking game between one of the Chinese front-desk girls and two Brits who have been living at the Stir-Fry for half a year while working as English teachers.

Day 7: Blearily wake up at 6am for the first time in a week and go downstairs to check out. No receptionist to be found, I look around and find the three multinational baijiu drinkers from the night before on the hallway floor. I shake them awake, one Brit crawling off to puke while I turn in my key. Stepping out of the Stir-Fry for the last time I look back to see the still-drunk front-desk girl and the other English lad checking doorknobs for an empty room, then stumble in arm in arm. Manchester Goooooaaaaal!

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