A wedding lasts a couple of hours, and a marriage lasts a lifetime. My best piece of advice for how to avoid relationship strain during wedding planning is: If you can't afford a wedding, don't have a wedding. Just get married. The average wedding these days costs more than $20,000, and it is not worth putting on credit cards if your parents are unable or unwilling to help cover the costs.

Planning a wedding is stressful, especially if the burden of paying for a wedding, or sticking to a tight, if not impossible, budget falls in your hands. A long engagement of a year or more will allow you to stretch out your budget somewhat, and not have to deal with paying the caterer, the location deposit, your dress, your photographer and everything else, all at one time. Remember, getting married is supposed to be fun!

Something else to keep in mind when planning your wedding is that your first year of marriage will not necessarily be easy, especially if you haven't lived together. Facing a first year of marriage while paying off enormous credit card debt from your big day is not a good idea.

For many people, eloping is a good idea. It doesn't have to be cheesy, and it will save you thousands of dollars. It is your decision if you tell people before you get married. You can have a weekend escape, and come back married. Or you can tell your family and friends that you are getting married, and go off on your own. If you think your parents will never forgive you, have a heart to heart with them. Or consider getting married and only inviting your parents. You can have a nice ceremony on the beach, or even in a nice park. Most family and friends will understand that the costs of planning a wedding are overwhelming. They will probably even give you a nice gift.

If you do decide to have a nice wedding, make sure you and your fianc are on the same page about the budget. Even if one of you decides to put a few things on a credit card, you both will have the burden of paying the bills when you get married. Also, be organized. Keep notes of who is doing what, and who is paying for what.

Additionally, don't have unrealistic goals about losing weight before the big day. This will make you frustrated and irritable, and will not help your relationship. Finally, keep open communication with your fianc and parents. If something's bothering you, don't be afraid to talk about it!

Learn more about this author, Valerie Ashton.
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