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May, 1988 I turned 14 which should be a big deal right? Wrong, because early June I was ordered to make a decision:

1) Get married and keep the baby I was pregnant with.

2) Go live with my mother who left when I was 9 years old and give the baby up for adoption.

3) Stay living at home and the baby's father would agree to leave the state and never see me again.

We were given 5 minutes to decide "the rest of my life". At that moment the choices sure didn't seem like much.

Option 2 just wasn't an option for me as I don't believe in giving up your child without good reasons and it being best for everyone involved. I didn't then nor will I ever feel that I should have given my daughter up.

Option 3 just felt so wrong and I thought it was vital to a child to have both parents in their life if possible from my experiences at that point and time I just wanted that for my child.

That left Option 1 and therefore 6 am we were on our way to Texas to be married. On the way back my Dad and his Mother dared to set a wager we wouldn't make it a year. I was appalled and didn't understand which began the distance between my father and I who had been so close growing up.

I was told after every terrible event in my marriage that I could always come home by my dad but my pride and firm belief that marriage was sacred and for life meant way too much to me.

For twelve years I stayed faithful and loyal to a man who was violent and cruel every chance he got. His friends and family knew but it was ok with them because he was so good at lies and befriending people. He would instantly be apologetic and promise to never do it again.

In March of 2000 he attacked me with such rage that when our daughter called her grandmother he jerked the phone jack off the wall. She was so smart and brave she took her younger brother and sister out a window and put them in my van and locked the door and prayed for her grandmother to show.

She did come and even though she was my mother in law she protected me. Stepped between him with a steak knife in hand and myself who was already worn down and exhausted from the beating.

He latched a hold of her with his teeth until he drew blood and dashed around her to lunge at my throat one more time. She knocked the knife away while I kicked and fought. It was a long brutal night.

When the first responders came they didn't do anything and recommended we take a break but informed me that there was nothing I could do since we were married and they didn't actually see him hit me.

The next morning in his apologetic tone he asked me to forgive him and to take him to the VA clinic in Bonham, TX where his doctor was located. I did more than happily and left him there upon his request for mental evaluation.

Weeks later his release would only be allowed under certain conditions. Someone had to be responsible for him. I wanted so bad to say "NO" but his mom, sister, and my children were crying and making a scene and eventually I agreed to take him home and care for him for 6 months.

I told him there and then when that 6 months was up I was leaving. I already applied for an apartment in the city. He never took me seriously until the day they called and he was expecting me to turn it down and I gladly informed him I was taking it.

That was in November, 2000 and now I am an accountant with 2 degrees and working on my CPA. Recently married last year and things couldn't be better. I would say I turned my life upside down from ten years ago when I had to worry if the warmth of my ex husbands dinner was going to get me hit or screamed at to going home to a happy and kind man.

Learn more about this author, Starr Sheets.
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