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"I destroy trust. I dimish the quality of a relationship. I smash memories and years of dedication, loyalty, and stablity. I hurt everyone in my family. I destroy memories, plague sanity, and create a foundation that is rocky and unstable. I am an affair." (Joann Snyder)

SO WHY DO AFFAIRS HAPPEN IN THE FIRST PLACE?

It was once said on Oprah, that a person will never stray from a relationship because someone else is more attractive to them. They will not walk away from a sound relationship because some hot somebody has a muscular build, huge boobs, or long blonde hair and a shiny tan. They will not abandon years of developed trust and memories simply because some hottie with a hot bod and a flair for fun comes along and decides to rock their world and show them a good time. They will only leave a relationship, or marriage, because of the way their partner or spouse makes them feel about themselves.

From a psychological perspective, this notion of an increasing number of affairs nation-wide raises some interesting questions. If we enter into relationships with good intentions what the heck goes wrong? While there is no full-proof answer to this titilating question, people who have had affairs often do state that the reasons for their decision to cheat was not at all about sex, lust, or greed. More often than not, they say that it is a direct result of the way that other person made them feel about themselves. Many even claim that it reminded them of the way their spouse, 'used to make them feel about themselves when they first met'.
Lets face it. It is easy to let a marriage get old. While that is not our intention, it is rather simplistic to place another person first in our lives each and every day. We each have individual responsibilities, goals, deadlines, and things to do. These things frequently take priority over other things that are absolutely vital in a relationship like fun, laughter, communication, and comfort. Therefore, after that initial sunbursting day of marriage when we promise to place our partner first in our lives for all eternity, it is quite easy to become more preoccupied with our own desires and needs, rather than those of our partner.
While it is true that keeping a marriage and a relationship new and young is no simple task, it is a task that is highly necessary in any relationship. It is perhaps because so many Americans fail to actually work in marriages to keep them rejuvinated and refreshed

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