October 1992 was the date set, the wedding every girl dreams of was close at hand. I was the 24 year old groom to be and she expected me to be a part of the planning. At 24, I really wanted nothing to do with fawning over frills, flowers and wedding showers.

It seems that the groom is expected to participate in all the "girly" stuff or it may be perceived that we are not excited about the wedding. What a woman must understand about guys is that if we weren't excited about you, we would not have asked you to spend the rest of our lives together. Let's be honest, weddings are for women, that may controversial, although it's completely true. The strain comes in quilting a guy into planning and being an integral part in everything. In my wedding, she didn't like the flowers or the caterer, it seemed always something didn't live up to what she had dreamed as the little girl wanting the greatest wedding ever. In my mind I felt like everything looked ok to me, it was just like any other wedding I had seen.

The last thing a guy wants is to see is the bride to be unhappy but she also has a duty to realize that sometimes the over expectation and perfection of everything is her own hang up, not the guy's, or anyone else for that matter. Give me a girl that doesn't mind getting married at a JP or in Vegas for that matter,one with no hangups, a best friend, one that doesn't get caught up in vanity and attention seeking.

It truly is the brides responsibility to make it her dream wedding without blame or expectations of others. As has been said before if you want something done right you have to do it yourself. Leave the groom out of the planning and the relationship will have no strain, in fact he will appreciate you for it and he will show it.

Among my friends that have set a wedding a date, it seems that is when the most disagreements occur. Who needs that before what is supposed to the most sacred bond between two people? If a woman can't see past "her" day enough to respect others there will be a strain.

I've spoken about the bride, now I'll speak about the main duty the groom has to eliminate strain. It's the grooms duty to know what is acceptable to your bride at the bachelor party. Not all women see things this way, but in my opinion it is highly disrespectful to your woman to spend your bachelor party at a strip club, getting hookers in Vegas or hiring a stripper and eating strawberries and cool whip from her cleavage. It seems that a groom's single friends want to send him out with a bang (literally), not cool.

Mutual respect and understanding is the order of the day to avoid strain, this is supposed to the happiest time in two peoples lives, make it so.

Learn more about this author, Rob Purifoy.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Tips for avoiding relationship strain while planning a wedding?
We want to hear your view. Write now!