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complain, because this is what I am programmed to do, how I am, as an employee, programmed to think.

I am afraid of letting my instincts as a mother take precedence over my work. Does that make me a terrible mother? Last week, my parents fell ill and my mother had to be hospitalized for a few days. I struggled for hours on a Tuesday night, wondering what I was going to do with my daughter: my employers had insisted that I take a few days off to care for her, in view of my plight. But I also remembered my roles and responsibilities in the firm, that there would be no one to handle the pressing load of files creaking on my desk if I wasn't there. I also wondered if there would be an ensuing prejudice if I had, in fact, taken a few days off, shunning my responsibilities as a worker bee of this organization.

I did the next best possible thing that I could do: I brought my daughter to the office with me, after informing my employers that I could not find a babysitter for the day. My daughter, a usually-active and cheeky 2-year old, thankfully, was a model of good behaviour, quietly drawing lines and squiggles on a piece of rough paper, colouring pictures and playing with my stamp pad and name chops in my room. But not all people are as lucky as I am. And it was torturous to have to see how uncomplaining my little babe was about that state of affair- she even fell asleep later after lunch and I was all prepared to unload the travel mattress I had folded into my SUV, so that she would be able to take a nap in my room.

Before I became a mother, I was also a career woman. I truly admire SAHMs because I think it takes a great deal to give up a career and devote your life to your children. Caring for children 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, is a full-time job. But it is not something all mothers can do. There are other mothers out there, like me, who have to grapple with their role as mothers vs their role as workers on a daily basis, simply because we cannot afford to be SAHMs. Is that something I'd like to do? Eventually, perhaps, I don't know- I love my career at the moment and cannot fathom giving it up completely someday.

What I do hope to achieve, though, is the respect and understanding that it is alright to be a mother AND a career woman at the same time. That it is not a handicap or an imperfection if you need to take a few days off in a year to care for your child. That I can still maintain a fruitful career (part-time, full-time or flexi-hours) and still be a good mother. That I am not evil to my child because I am aiming high, for that corporate glass ceiling that promises greater benefit for my family and myself, for partnership that will give me the financial freedom I so desire and to provide for an adequate tertiary education for my child.

The government of a country's administration, I feel, is crucial in advocating this understanding. Women in the workforce are not asking for equal opportunities, because we already have equal opportunities. But women in the workforce who are, or will become mothers, are often looked upon as a liability, a handicap, because when the baby is due, she will be away for a 2-month maternity leave period. Isn't it ironic then that women were the ones who gave life to the leaders of our nation?

We are women. We need to be mothers too. It is our basic instinct, because God had made us this way.

Learn more about this author, Lau Pin Lean.
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