1 of 2

Write now Article Tools

It happens to all of us. There comes a day sometime after the birth of your first child when you look in the mirror and barely recognize the woman looking back. You haven't had a full night's sleep in weeks (maybe months) and you are exhausted. Your relationships with your partner, your family, and your friends are all changing. Your own priorities are shifting. You are now responsible for another human being 24/7 and everything else seems to have fallen by the wayside. You stop and ask, "Who exactly am I now that I am a mother?"

Welcome to the identity crisis of new motherhood. As Marianne Williamson writes in The Gift of Change, "When a woman gives birth, two are born: a baby is born from the womb of its mother, and a woman is born from the womb of her former existence." This becoming a new woman can be a difficult process, and in many ways involves grieving your former self. This transformation can also be a wonderful learning experience, however, and the end result is well worth the effort.

Here are ten ways to help you successfully navigate this transition:

1. Realize you are not alone

One of the most difficult aspects of new motherhood is the isolation you may feel. It is all too easy to look at other new moms and think, "They have it all together - why don't I?" The secret is that they are looking at you and thinking the same thing. Every new mom feels overwhelmed and tired and is trying just as hard as you to adjust to this new lifestyle. Yes, you love your baby, and yes, it is completely normal in the early months of motherhood to look back at your previous life with some longing.

2. Give Yourself Time

If you were taking on a challenging new career in an area you had little experience in, you would not expect to be a complete success your first day on the job. The same holds true for motherhood. It can take from six months to a year to be comfortable in your new role. Do not rush to judge yourself harshly when some aspects of mothering don't come easily. In time, your instincts will come in. You will learn what your baby's different cries mean, and how to soothe him or her (at least most of the time.) You will figure out how to carry your baby and the diaper bag and still open the door, and how to get out of the house in less than an hour. These things and all the other skills that motherhood requires will come. Give yourself time to learn.

3. Enjoy your baby's feeding time.

Feeding time is meant to be special. It is a quiet time to sit, rest, and bond

• 1
• 2
• 3
• 4
• next page >>

Add your voice

Know something about How to cope with the identity crisis of new motherhood?
We want to hear your view. Write now!