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me pretty well knew there was something wrong with me. Especially that my dress attire was not my usual dressed. It was dead of summer and I was wearing jeans and shirts that covered just about all of my upper body. After I finally broke down and told them some. I could not tell all because I would get those looks and the questions "what were you thinking?" I told another one of my closest friends and one of my cousin's. Honestly the story had to change each time I talked about it. The whole story was told to my cousin because I knew she would not scream at me or look at me funny. She suggested that I tell my brother who is ten months younger than me. I told her "Are you crazy he will kill me and this guy." This was a form of precaution I guess; after all this guy knew where I lived and no one knows how mentally stable he was. Especially when he considered that "moment" we "shared" as a form of playing and tussling. I didn't feel the need that I needed to tell him.

Fast Forward
A month later I am year older and I am still getting used to being comfortable in social settings again. I went to my first party in weeks and I did mange to dance but I had a break down while driving myself home. I felt so dirty and like people knew what happened to me. It just wasn't at the party but where ever I was going. I felt like people were staring at me. Have you ever had the feeling that someone was watching you? Something you do may change up, like your facial expression or something? Well it may have been all in my mind but my walk started to get funny. I felt like I was missing steps. I needed this feeling to go away.

I even started going to church, which is a huge deal for me. I have had countless dealings with people of faith and I am baffled how they behave (not saying that's everyone). I've lost count how many times I heard the phrase "give it up to God". And because I don't have a strong religious background; I'm not quiet sure how to do that. I suppose the next step is to now seek some counseling.

I am still trying to figure how to get over this completely. I am still trying to understand that article that I've came across that day in the human resources office. How does someone know that this person they've met over these sites is safe? I suppose it's just the same meeting someone in person. You don't truly know what they are about, until you really get to know them. I suppose it's just the gamble. I just wish there was some form of certainty so your first or next blind date will not be one you will regret.

Learn more about this author, Miss T.M.
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