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Humor: You're having a bad day when

by Christina Daniell

Created on: November 08, 2007   Last Updated: April 07, 2008

You know you are having a bad day when:

You can't find your pencil and your tampon is behind your ear.

You tell a new co-worker about what a pain in the A$$ your boss is only to find out she is the boss' daughter.

It's a beautiful day out so you decide to take lunch out side on the grass. You think you felt a drop of rain on your forehead but there are no clouds in the sky. You wipe the raindrop away and discover white bird poop on your hand.

Its pay day so when you go back to work from your lunch and pickup your paycheck, you find a pink notice included releasing you from your duties due to the remark you made earlier to the boss' daughter.

You arrive home distraught over losing your job only to find your front door standing ajar. Placing your car keys between your fingers to use as a weapon in case you walk in on the burglars you carefully walk through the house but notice nothing missing. Sighing in relief and deciding that you must not have latched the door all the way this morning you happen to see an envelope lying on your kitchen counter. You open it up and read "Dear madam, I am sorry to say that my partner and I planned on breaking into your home and robbing you blind; however upon entering we saw that not only was there nothing worth taking but you are worse off than we are so here is twenty dollars. Hope it helps!"

You put dinner in the oven and attempt to spruce up your home a little after the depressing note the so-called burglars left. In the process of rearranging the furniture you smell smoke. Realizing that you have burnt dinner you panic and drop the sofa on your big toe.

As you are pulling the now burnt to a crisp meatloaf out of the oven, the phone rings. It's your husband. He says he is bringing the big boss home with him for dinner and if all goes well this could mean a promotion.

You open all the windows to air the charred meat smell out of the house and run to the freezer to find something else too cook only to see that the only thing left in the freezer is a half eaten box of ice cream and some old, frost-bitten fish sticks.

You decide to order Chinese food and have it delivered. Luckily it arrives about five minutes before your husband and his boss are due to arrive. You take it all out of the cardboard containers and put it in the nicest serving bowls you own. You paste on a smile just as your husband walks through the door with the most beautiful, blond bombshell of a woman you have ever laid eyes on then you notice her arm is in the crook of is elbow an both are laughing a little to intimately at some private joke.

Dinner is over and you start to clear a way the dishes as your husband walks the boss out to her car. You peek out the window to see what it taking so long to send her on her way only to see them kissing- and not just a celebratory kiss on the cheek! You know the kind that your husband hasn't laid on you since the first year you were married!

Yeah! This is a bad day!

Learn more about this author, Christina Daniell.
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