2 of 8

Write now Article Tools

These words are meant to share a personal experience in the early 1980's . It is with great intention that names have been changed to respectfully protect the privacy of all involved.

My husband was in a position with a large corporation at the time. And through the many corporate affairs and functions we became friendly with one of his associates. It was through our dinner and evening chats one night at home my husband said " I haven't seen John around" these words were briefly thought of as some of small significance. John was married and had two college age children.

In was not too long after we heard John was divorcing . Our association with him was somewhat removed at the time, my husband had some brief conversations and gave his support.
Because of their corporate positions they saw each other every day.

The next year, John invited us to his New York apartment, we met a very attractive European women. We had dinner and spent the evening with them. We were happy he was in a new relationship and he seemed happy again. As a women who loves happy endings, I was sure that the beautiful robe hanging on his bathroom door was hers. This was one of the first inaccurate assumptions that I made.

The holiday parties were fast paced, as some of them felt too obligatory, as attendance is part of what is expected of executives in the corporate world. We noticed that John had developed a pallor, and seemed like he was loosing weight. I mentioned to my husband " I think John looks like he is wearing mascara" As John was frequently not in attendance at important meetings. My husband and I thought that he may be seriously ill and was attempting to protect his privacy .

A fast forward to the day that my husband called me at home. He asked me to sit down, I thought a tragic event had transpired. These were his words " John asked me how would I feel reporting to a woman ?" I thought,they must be shuffling everyone around again. But he continued. " I said something funny , and then John said, what if the women ,was me? " We bumbled around for days, trying to assimilate these new facts. What would it mean at the company? How do we relate to John? My strong heterosexual man,was having trouble with these new feelings thrust upon him.

I remember when we found out that John had been on hormones for the preparation for his surgery, he was having a sex change. It was then revealed by others that he had been living his personal life wearing wigs and dressing in female clothes. He picked up his college age children in this attire. He was now coming out of the closet, that he had hidden in for so long.

The day of John's surgery threw us into a turmoil. " What do we do to support him?" "Should we send him flowers?"

Before long John had changed his or I mean her name to Joan, she was in attendance at an affair. Her voice was softer, her hair had grown long and she was dressed well as a professional women.
I remember that it was not discussed among us at the party. All of us who were in attendance liked and supported Joan. But there were some adjustments we all made. When Joan left the table and went to the ladies room. She was in there all alone.

I think that because of this company, this executives needs were openly accommodated. She was given her own private bathroom. She for a short time stayed with the company, then left accepting a position in a retail company. But we all in our own way, did the best we could to say goodbye to the John we all knew and to welcome Joan ,who finally found her way.

Learn more about this author, Olivia Bredbenner.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Transsexuals in the workplace?
We want to hear your view. Write now!