by Jennifer Paige

Created on: November 07, 2007

We have all been there, that one moment when we exploded with anger and said or did something we later regretted. For some of us, these moments are more common than we would like to admit. What can we do to control our anger?

The first thing we should do, whenever possible, is to physically excuse ourselves from the situations that are getting us fired up with anger. For example, you are at a dinner party and an obnoxious guest is making comments that are getting under your skin. Before you explode, ask to be excused. Go to the bathroom or outside (if appropriate) and take a breather.

This applies to situations with your children as well. If they are really upsetting you and you can do so without putting them in danger, separate yourself from the situation (even if just for a moment). Parents need time-out too.

If it is not possible for you to physically leave the situation that is upsetting you, then you will need to practice some other anger management techniques.

First, breathe deeply and slowly. When I do this, I imagine white light entering into my lungs with every inhale and black smoke coming out with every exhale. I am ridding myself of the negative emotions and filling myself with positive energy.

Second, focus on something that makes you happy. Try to mentally block out the anger-stimulating person or situation, while envisioning something more pleasant.

Third, think of something funny. It works best if it involves the person you are angry with because it makes you remember that you have had good times with this person.

Finally, try to move around and release the tension in your body whenever possible. Stretch, walk about, roll your shoulders; do whatever you can to loosen up.

Another anger management strategy, during private times, is to write in a diary. On paper, you can release all of your anger and frustration without having to unload it all on the person with whom you are angry. You can plan out what you want to say to the person so that you don't say things you will regret.

If anger leads you to physical aggression, you should find another outlet for your anger. For example, some people get really mad when sitting in traffic and become aggressive. What I try to do so I won't get upset is distract myself. I think about my to-do list, articles I want to write, what I will say in class, or sometimes I just sing along with the radio. If someone cuts me off or passes me when they shouldn't, I tell myself things like "it's their ticket, not mine" or "they

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