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A good impression on the first date means a good chance of a second date. Physical attraction is important to most, but what we say goes a long way in capturing and holding the other's attention. It's also just as important to listen to your date attentively.

A first date should be about getting to know each other on the surface and a little below, but not so deep there's no mystery left. Create a comfortable atmosphere that puts your date at ease. Don't ask questions that are too personal or too controversial. Interaction shouldn't be one-sided, but a balance between two people. Know when to be the speaker and when to be the listener. Your mannerisms can be as important as what you say. Be polite, respectful and use manners.

MUSIC

Music is a wonderful topic and can be expanded upon. Most everyone likes music. Find out the genres your date likes. You can build on this by asking about specific bands, artists, songs and what interests them about each. I like to discuss interpretation of lyrics. That opens a broad line of communication.

PLACES

Discussing places you've lived or traveled to can be very interesting. You may find you've had similar experiences or vastly different experiences you can learn from. Ask details. Ask what they liked or disliked about places they've lived or traveled to. You can learn if they like cold or warm climates, a bustling city or simplistic country life or something in between.

MOVIES

Movies, old and new, can create a wealth of discussion from the type of movies each likes to specific actors. Maybe they prefer adventure or horror movies as opposed to romantic or comedy. This choice helps give an insight to the type of person your date is.

PETS

Ask if they have any pets. This gives a good idea of compatibility. If they hate cats and you have a dozen of them, you might have a problem. Their reaction will be quite telling. Some people can tolerate pets and there are those who cannot stand to be around them. Couples have broken up over issues such as this. Better to know early on.

FAVORITE FOOD

Everyone eats so this topic can't go wrong. Discussing the many types of food can lead to knowing if they like to eat out or prefer to eat at home and also if they enjoy cooking. You may find your date is such a good cook they could be a chef or they don't know how to boil an egg.

LEISURE TIME

Asking about what they do in their leisure time can give you an idea if they are more the couch potato type or the more adventurous. You'll be able to gauge if your interests are similar enough should a relationship evolve. You'll also learn how interested they are in what you like to do and how they react to your choices.

SIBLINGS

Asking about siblings shows an interest in family life, but doesn't get too personal. You'll learn if they have close family ties and experiences they have had with siblings. They may offer a glimpse into their childhood which can be fascinating.

SPORTS

Some people hate sports and some are fanatics. Again, this topic can offer a view of your compatibility level. A love for the same types of sports can draw people close together and certainly involve many interesting discussions.

WHAT NOT TO DO

* Don't talk about controversial subjects. This can lead to tension.
* Don't talk about your ex. This implies you still have loose ends.
* Don't talk about finances. This is too personal for a first date.
* Don't lie to impress. Lies come out eventually and you'll be seen as a fool.
* Don't have a wandering eye. Focus on your date. A wandering eye isn't respectful.

Remember...too much, too soon of anything has a tendency to make a bad impression. Go slow, be yourself and keep things simple! Focus on your date so they know you are genuinely interested.

Learn more about this author, Kathy D.
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