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Some say that we cannot live in two places at the same time. But, leaving a place always entails leaving behind a piece of yourself. So, while we physically cannot be in two places at once, our minds often wander to the places we love the most and to thoughts of people we love the most. Likewise, those we leave behind have been touched by our presence in a way that is not easily erased.

It is an incredible phenomenon that our thoughts can take us to places where we are not. We think of our loved ones and our hearts ache when we find ourselves missing them. We think of our favourite places on the planet, close our eyes, and place ourselves there, until something in our immediate existence brings us back to reality and brings our daydreaming to an end.

At times, when my mind is stuck in a place where I am not, or when I long to be elsewhere, I find myself to be unhappy. This can be a damaging predicament that causes my experience in the here and now to suffer. If we live our lives wishing we were somewhere else, we are in fact placing ourselves in a position of total helplessness, discontent, and irrelevance. We will inevitably miss out on what we can experience and learn in the Now. We are essentially wasting our time as we wish it away instead of embracing the world around us.

The reality is that we will always be missing out. There will always be something happening, and we cannot be there to take part in it. Likewise, we will often wish that someone' was with us, wherever we are. This is embodied in the fact that every tourist destination sells a postcard that says "Wish You Were Here." It is not necessarily unhealthy for us to wish these things. If anything, our wishful feelings affirm our love for others and for particular niches in our world.

I find the interpretation of our experiences often relies on other people. We see ourselves in relation to others as well. Left to dwell in our own skin and solitary experiences, we have no one to tell us how to feel, and no one to alter our opinions. We are destined to seek relationship with others as an affirmation of ourselves. And I think this is why we are constantly thinking of others who are not with us, and often finding ourselves longing to be where it's happening,' whatever it is.

All the same, if we find ourselves in a place of total contentment, and in a place where we desire to be in that very moment in time, we often wish that we had someone there to spend that moment with us. No words need to be spoken, but just the presence of someone we care about can enhance the moment in a significant way.

The times I have been alone, and desiring to be alone, are very spiritual times for me. It is in those moments when I realize most that I am not alone. We are never alone. Interpret that how you will, but for me there are moments of inexplicable joy when I find myself feeling loved and valued, not in relation to other people, but simply for who I am.

When I find myself wishing I was in two places at once, I redirect my longings into affirmations of those I love. Then I fix my eyes on what is around me, absorb it as fully as I can, and make room in my heart for the new things that come my way.

Learn more about this author, Andrea Maclean.
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