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When it comes to breaking the ice with your ex, attitude is of extreme importance. Overcoming the hurt feelings, and issues pertaining to the break-up are likely to be difficult. However, there are still issues that are of mutual interest, such as the children that you likely share. Sticking to those issues only can be a productive first step to re-establishing communications.

"Breaking the ice" implies a new beginning. Within that new beginning, the old issues that caused the difficulties are no longer relevant. They must be filed away in some corner of your mind, and not to be a part of new communications. Moreover, that must be evident to the ex, or they may continue to freeze you out of all communications.

Areas of mutual interest go beyond children that may be involved within a divorce. Each person has his own personal history that is on-going during a relationship. The end of the relationship leaves behind a shared history of mutual friends, associates, and business dealings. One way to break the ice with the ex is to agree upon the "rules of disengagement" in these areas.

With an attitude of reconciliation, it is even possible that friendship can result. The same things that were once attractive to one another, actually still exist. The secret is to get beyond the turmoil, and hurt of dreams that were once shared, but now lost forever.

The ability to see the advantages of getting along must be present for any hope of success. It may take great effort, and determination to break the old habits of fighting over the issues that drove you apart from one another. A new trust must be developed between you and your ex that only areas of mutual benefit will be an issue in the future. Otherwise, barriers will continue to exist.

We are blessed with amazing capacities to forgive, and forget. It is not always easy, but necessary to exert control of our emotions in this area. With this attitude at the forefront, anything is possible. Breaking the ice with the ex is an excellent means of healing from a bad experience. With that healing will come emotional growth that more than justifies the effort!

Learn more about this author, Bob Schmidt.
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