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go ahead, but weigh the satisfaction of standing up for yourself against the tirade you're going to get in response. Is it worth it? That's up to you.

4. When friends, family, or coworkers are rude, let them know exactly how it makes you feel.

If you have to (or want to) be around someone frequently, forget the standard "mom" advice to "just ignore it" when the person is rude. When a behavior offends you, it needs to stop now. The worse it will be when you inevitably confront the person. He probably doesn't realize he's being hurtful. Imagine how bad he'll feel if you tell him five years from now that the nickname he calls you every day upsets you!

Don't respond to rudeness with sarcasm or a nasty gibe of your own. If the rude person really is just trying to joke around, she'll think you're playing the same game and assume her behavior is ok.

Minimizing how much the behavior hurts you is a bad move. Don't smile or keep your voice pleasant. I'm not suggesting you yell, but the person needs to see exactly how much their behavior hurts. If you laugh while you say, "that's a really mean, tasteless joke," the person will take it as an accolade for their willingness to trample social norms for the sake of humor. Say those same words with a sad, serious expression and they'll get the point.

5. Use shock value.

My husband doesn't drink, never has, and never will. My father in law watched his alcoholic father die an early death and was instilled with a contempt for alcohol so strong I think he passed it to his son at conception. At a dinner with clients and coworkers, my husband was hassled about not wanting wine. Being the polite guy he is, he tried "no, thank you" a few times. When that didn't work, he pulled out the big guns and rattled off a few stories about his grandfather and uncles. The people at the dinner table were duly shamed and stopped pestering him. Hopefully, they take the lesson to heart and realize it's rude not to keep pushing someone who says "no".

Variations on this theme include the standard, "my best friend in college was Black" in response to a racial joke or "my brother's gay" when someone exhibits homophobia. These statements work whether or not they're true. Me, I hate lying, but I can't really fault someone for using a lie to shame a rude person.

6. When someone around you has been a victim of rudeness, counter it with kindness of your own.

An old woman ahead of me in line was giving the Wal-Mart cashier hell about a cabbage that was supposed

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