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Rude is relative. There are those who use expletives as a friendly greeting and others who feel slighted by the smallest lapse in etiquette. Regardless of what you consider impolite, here are a few strategies for responding to what you perceive as rude behavior.

1. Give yourself a reality check.

Maybe the person who cut in front of you didn't realize you were in line. The acquaintance who walked by without greeting you was probably lost in thought and not deliberately snubbing you. Curt, snappish comments from a coworker are probably a sign that he's busy and stressed.

Social skills, like any other skills, vary from person to person. On the extreme end of the spectrum are people with labels like Tourette's, Asperger's, autism, or ADHD. Thinking of what to do in a social situation may be like doing a difficult calculus problem for someone with Asperger's. People with ADHD have difficulty juggling multiple tasks or mentally "switching gears"; they aren't focusing on social graces while absorbed in work or play.

Just like a person who isn't dyslexic can still be a poor reader, some unlabeled people have social difficulties. It doesn't mean they want to be rude or don't care about your feelings, it simply means they made a social error. You never really know if "rudeness" is intentional or not, but giving people the benefit of the doubt will help you keep from getting your feelings hurt.

2. Walk away, or at least give yourself a chance to pause.

If you're dealing with a difficult child, student, customer, or employee your greatest asset is time. The person being rude is in the mood to argue and won't be receptive to your ideas. As an instructor, I've rarely been happy with my decisions in such situations. At times I've been so put off by the student's rudeness that I snap a "no" answer without considering their request. On other occasions I've been too tired to argue and have just given in. I've learned the best approach is to listen seriously, look the person in the eye, and say, "let me think about that." Later, if I do end up denying the request, the student has calmed down enough to accept my decision. In any case, I can consider the situation without pressure or interruption.

3. Ignore rude behavior from strangers whenever you can.

There isn't a lot of point to confronting a rude stranger in a public place. Since that person doesn't know you, she won't care what you have to say and won't change her behavior. If telling the person off will make you feel better,

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