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they fare, once they truly are on their own?

H

Have fun! Someone said, "Parenting is the toughest job you will ever love." Actually, most parents have probably uttered similar words. Sure, difficult times will arise. On the other hand, how much fun can we have with our children? Can we step back, once in a while, and just enjoy them?

I

It's not all about them. How many parents build their entire lives around their kids? Being the center of a parent's universe can be a huge burden to a child. A little balance is important.

J

Just say no. Parents sometimes have to deprive their children of some of their desires. This simple fact of life is lost on lots of folks. Sometimes, self esteem and character overall can be fostered by allowing kids the opportunity to go without something they really want. Perhaps they will discover they don't need it after all. Possibly, they will find a way to earn it themselves. Think back. Can you remember the first thing you purchased with your own hard-earned money? Didn't you feel proud of yourself?

K

Keep the reins. Children may buck, like young horses, at the first sign of limits. However, this may be exactly what they need. Does an overtired child really need to invite her overnight pal, for the second night in a row? How will a kid feel, if he is allowed to eat nothing by chocolate for dinner? Eventually, a child will come to realize what is good for him or her, but this may take years.

L

Love always. Just be sure to say so, often and clearly. Nuff said.

M

Make memories together. Even the silliest remembrances are special to children. Play with finger paints. Jump into a pile of leaves. Have a water fight. Sharing happy times and recounting them repeatedly are central to a healthy life legacy.

N

Never do the whole job alone. It's easy for parents to feel overwhelmed, especially single parents. Enlist others for help and support, whenever you can. Do you have friends or family members who can plug in with your kids sometimes?

O

Occasionally, rules must be broken. I still remember plunging off a pier, fully dressed, with a parent. And I will never forget driving my grandfather's old truck up and down the driveway, 20 times in a row, while sitting in his lap. I was probably four years old.

P

Parents must always be parents. Of course, we want our kids to love us, and maybe even like us. But strong, fair parents accomplish far more, in terms of building stability and self-confidence in their children, than laissez-faire ones do. Children thrive with

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