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High self-esteem is one of the most important gifts you can give your child. A lack of self-esteem in adulthood can be a factor in all sorts of questionable choices. A child raised with a strong sense of self-worth will have the confidence to make the right decisions as an adult, whether it's getting out of a bad relationship or saying no to drugs. Raising a child with high self-esteem can be as simple as getting into a few good habits.

Take every opportunity to praise your child. They may have passed an important exam or just cleared away the breakfast things. Tell them they did a good job and you're proud of them.

Never criticize your child. Yes, your child will need disciplining for bad behavior sometimes, but make sure it is the behavior that is condemned, not the child or any of his inherent qualities.

Avoid derogatory language when correcting or disciplining your child. Stick to the facts. State what was done wrong and put the real emphasis on how you want it done right next time. End on a positive note: "So that's how we'll do it in future, buddy. OK?"

Take your child quietly but firmly away from peers and siblings before scolding them. You'll have their full attention and they won't be embarrassed by the experience.

Make a big deal out of achievements. If they do something good, dwell on it, take them for a celebratory family meal, show them you really value their success.

Talk regularly about things your child is good at. Mention them to other people in his hearing. Don't mention his problems/failures to other people if there is a chance he could overhear.

Start a little ritual of taking a few minutes at the end of the day to talk to each of your children about new achievements, good behavior and new or improved skills. It doesn't matter how small it is. It could just be three good/kind/grown-up things you did today. It only takes a minute as you're tucking them up in bed.

Provide your kids with as many different opportunities as possible so they can identify their own particular strengths. They may not be the same as yours so don't rule out sports because you're not sporty or music because you happen to be tone deaf!

Explain to your child that nobody is good at everything. Emphasize his strengths and talents and encourage him to participate in things he's not so good at for the sheer fun of it. If he knows he's very good at some things he won't feel crushed when he fails at others.

Teach him to accept failure/rejection and not take it personally. It can help to give examples of when you failed at something, and maybe later went on to succeed at something similar.

Always, always talk your child up. Don't worry about making him big-headed. Life will deal him enough knocks as he goes through it. If you've given him a good level of self-esteem he should be well equipped to take them.

Learn more about this author, Karen Banes.
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