Living with an addictive personality or living with someone who has an addictive personality is never going to be easy. However, an addictive personality, if controlled, is not always going to be destructive. I have an addictive personality and I know it is going to be a struggle I face every day.

A person can be addicted to many things, drugs, alcohol, computer games, marathon running, even writing articles for Helium. The addiction only becomes a real problem however when it starts to interfere with how you conduct your life and interact with others. For example, how many people do you know who are grumpy before that first cup of coffee, but afterwards are the normal friendly people that you know. That right there is all because of the wonderful and legal drug, caffeine.

The most important thing about an addictive personality is to realise that you have one. Once you are aware, you can start to control it. In some cases this means avoiding certain things, like drugs or gambling, and in others it means applying a limiting value to it. For instance only spending 2 hours writing articles for Helium. I have found this approach to be successful, however, limiting what you do will only work if you have the self discipline to stop when you have reached your limit.

There are two ways to overcome this. The first is to start with easily achievable limits and gradually making them more difficult. Think of it like weight training for the mind. As the limit gets harder to enforce, you start to develop more will power. This will help you in a lot of fields, not just stopping your addiction from ruining your life. The second way which in some cases is easier and in others not so much, is to go cold turkey. The problem with this method is that you have to be careful not to pick up another addiction that will be equally destructive. Limiting the time spent on your good addictions is probably the best way to cope with them and will prove the most beneficial in the long run.

If you find yourself in the situation of living with a person with an addictive personality, you are unfortunately in a difficult situation. Until they realise that they have a problem, nothing you say is going to help. If the addiction is truly destructive and is likely to drag you down with it, your best bet is not to get too involved. I know this is difficult when you care for the person, but getting very involved can destroy you as well. Make sure they know that you are available should they need help, and remain friends, but don't get dragged in.

If they are aware that they have a problem, then be supportive. If they don't have the self discipline to limit activities, you need to be able enforce the limits. The best way to do this is to substitute with another activity, preferably one that you both enjoy. This will make the situation a lot better for both of you.

Remember, you need to be able to channel and control your addictive nature, not the other way round. And who knows, it may even be possible to use it as a force for good, after all, someone has to earn money from Helium, why shouldn't it be you.

Learn more about this author, Gareth Hobbs.
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