by Kathy D

Created on: November 06, 2007

Nothing is more painful than the stab of suspicion your spouse may be cheating. You have loved and stood by them through thick and thin. They are your other half, yet now you feel your world is being torn apart. Are your suspicions justified? Often instincts, that knot in your stomach, a deep sadness and restless nights are the first clues a spouse is indeed, cheating. Our bodies often tell us something isn't right. Heed the warning, but do it constructively.

Signs that May Indicate Cheating

Becoming defensive - They are suddenly more irritable with you, possibly starting arguments. They may be trying to throw you off guard, making you feel you are doing something wrong to alleviate their guilt.

Distinct detachment - You suddenly feel very detached from your spouse, as if in the presence of a stranger. You may feel you are on enemy grounds, walking on eggshells.

Change in intimacy - The cheater may become more neglectful of their partner or go overboard. They may become more adventurous, sexually. The loss of interest for intimacy could indicate your spouse is being entertained elsewhere. On the other hand, pouring it on may be due to guilt.

Finances - The cheater often goes through more money than usual, buying gifts, paying for motel rooms, running up phone bills, etc.

Communication - Communication breaks down between you and your spouse. They often have ready made excuses that may even sound reasonable, but you know better. Your instincts tell you they are lying. Their excuses sound like scripts written to fit the scene.

Change in schedule - The cheater often changes their schedule, staying late for work, traveling out of town on business. They may use the excuse they need alone time because of stress at work or a need to pursue their own interests. They create new excuses as one gets redundant for getting out of the house. They may accuse you of being insensitive to their needs.

Lifestyle changes - The cheater often changes their lifestyle. They may start exercising and worrying about their diet, being more concerned with appearance. They may take up new interests, some which may rekindle a sense of youth.

Think Before Acting

Can you handle the truth? Are you prepared for the consequences of what you may find? Busting a cheater doesn't always mean they will be remorseful and beg forgiveness. Sometimes it means they are already prepared to leave the marriage. Think about what "you" will do should you find out your spouse is cheating. Look at all angles.

Confrontation

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