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by Decourcy Williams

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I find something is funny. How many people still sit at the dinner table at a certain time during the day, with their family, and have dinner? How many people have meaningful conversations with family members? What do you talk about? I have noticed that people are talking about the wrong things. Parents....do you talk to your kids about school work, or things that have gone on during the school day, or do you clown around with MTV, BET, or who likes who, or who is talking about who....in other words, are you being a friend, or a parent? My point is though that I have noticed that families, that still get together and talk...we are not talking about important issues. Being the father of a 10 year old girl, I remember what we talked about at dinner. Nothing. It was a fury of gnashing teeth, reaching arms, and the occasional belch. Two of the most life shaping events are not being discussed at dinner, or at any other time for that matter. I believe that people are not talking about money, and sex. I know, I know, it is a touchy subject, but kids are learning sex from somewhere! Might as well be from us parents. But money is not being discussed either, and that is a subject that shapes lives and changes generations. I have been on the financial literacy trip now...reading countless books, and listening to different audio tapes....doing research. I am also playing in the stock market a little. But I remember when I was young, I asked my father how to balance a checkbook. He replied "You damn dummy! You should know how to do that by now!" Exact words...no lie. I was 16 yrs old, sure, and maybe I should have known by that age, but should I? I never even heard of a checkbook until I has 15 and got my 1st job! I got married to the 1st girl who gave me some sex, cause I didn't know the difference between love and sex. I was 21 by the way, when I lost my virginity. But my point is that NO ONE talked to me about it! I even asked, but was shunned away with the general idea that I should already know. By the time I was 16, 17 yrs old, and got my head out of my butt and started paying attention to life, I didn't know what I was doing! I didn't know how to approach women, and hold a conversation without turning into a drooling idiot. I didn't know how to apply for a loan, or a savings account, or a checking account. I didn't know that men and women can be friends...sometimes without being romantically involved. I knew nothing about this world.

Now I say all this cause those of us who have children...we have a choice. We cannot discuss life with our kids and let them find out on their own, or we can guide them and allow them to make decisions, mistakes, victories, etc, etc. My daughter has her own savings account, and I have her balance it on a weekly basis. She earns her own money, and I take her to the bank to make deposits. She has not made a withdrawal yet, but I am also trying 2 show her the magic of interest rates. I have had at least 3 talks with her about sex, and boys, without using destructive language, and vivid descriptions. I talk with my daughter about everything under the sun in fact. I want to equip her with as many tools as possible in order to face this crap we call life. So, whats up? Do people talk to their kids or not? I know there are some people who do, but is it the norm now, or not?
One more thing I think I should say...I am not in any way blaming my parents for what they did, or did not tell me, nor am I bitter about my journey in this life. I just wonder would I have been better able to handle some of the things that I got myself into if I had more information. I really worry about my daughter making the same mistakes I did. What parent does not worry about that? I know that she has to go her own way in her own life. I just want to give her all the tools that I possibly can to make her trip a different one from mine.

Learn more about this author, Decourcy Williams.

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