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A relationship shouldn't be taken for granted and ending one shouldn't be done hastily. All pros and cons should be looked at before making a final decision. One should always ask themselves..."is what you're running to, worth more than what you're leaving behind".

Never use manipulation to convince someone to stay in a relationship. They should be with you because they want to, not because they feel forced to stay. Be ready to offer good and justifiable reasons to state your case in a calm and open-minded atmosphere. You may not change their mind, but you have the right to express your feelings.

Reasons for staying

If you've been in a relationship for a good while, you've created a bond. Occasionally, this bond "feels" broken because of the ebbs and flows that transpire in any relationship. Sometimes a partner wants to bail out because they only want "in" when things are going well. Alternatives need to be looked at. Relationships are difficult to form in the first place. Finding someone new may not offer your partner nearly the depth of what they have in the relationship with you now. They should look before leaping. The grass is rarely greener on the other side. It's important to assess if you both can "fix" the relationship instead of ending it. Break-ups are often more difficult to deal with than fixing the core problems.

You've created memories together. You've shared the simple things in life and been together through the struggles. If you have a solid foundation, you have something to work with. Express these thoughts to your partner. Point out the good and allow them to express their feelings. Take them down memory lane and make sure they know you have deeply appreciated being with them and how much they mean to you. Lay your feelings out in a simple and meaningful manner. Don't beg, manipulate or be dramatic.

Find the problem

Delve deeply into the reasons your partner wants to leave. Lack of communication can cause tension. It can cause two people to drift apart, although the love may still exist. This can be fixed by learning to communicate effectively and learning to express love through your partner's language. Ask your partner what issues they have with you or for being in the relationship. Express your willingness to resolve any problems. Stay calm. Listen attentively and have empathy for their feelings. Allow them to express their feelings about the negatives. Don't attack. Don't get defensive. Listen with an open mind. Your partner may be right about some issues. Maybe there are problems that haven't been dealt with that you have contributed to. Be willing to look at yourself closely with truth. Be accountable and willing to compromise.

It's possible your partner simply is the type that always escapes from a relationship and doesn't have what it takes to be committed. You can't change them and will be better off with someone else in the future that won't bail out. It's also possible the negatives in your relationship went too far and your partner feels there is no turning back.

Look inside yourself

Ask yourself why you want your partner to stay. Do you truly want to be with them or are you feeling needy, afraid of being alone? Make sure your reasons for wanting them to stay are based on something solid, a genuine desire. Look into the future. Is this who you want to be with long-term? If not, it may be best to allow the relationship to end and open yourself to new experiences that will be more enduring.

If your partner is firm on leaving and they can leave without doubts, without regret, set them free. When you love someone, you don't hold them captive. You give them wings to fly. In time, your heart will heal and you'll find someone who will never want to leave you.

Learn more about this author, Kathy D.
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