by Kate Hudson

Created on: July 12, 2006   Last Updated: April 25, 2007

My children are 6,4 and 2 and they all like going to bed. Let me share my tips with you.

First of all, I have never had a set bed time for my children. I don't send them to bed at the same time every day because they don't begin to feel tired at the same time every day. I don't refer to going to bed as "bed time" or assume that they won't want to go to bed.

When I see that my children are starting to get tired I ask them to go and get ready for bed nicely. The eldest two go off upstairs and get changed into their pyjamas. I change my youngest into hers. They then all come back downstairs and have a drink before going to brush their teeth. When they are all ready they have a cuddle and kiss each, say goodnight to each other and go to their rooms.

I ask them to get into bed nicely and tell them that since they are being so good they can read a book, play with a toy or do something of their choice quietly until they are ready to go to sleep. Instead of fighting to get them into bed, they look forward to this quiet time when they each get some peace away from eachother.

I often find that after a few minutes one or the other gets back out of bed and starts running around or singing or shouting. In this situation I go upstairs and ask them nicely to get back into bed and help them choose something quiet to do. Of course sometimes I get really wound up and shout at them but this never works. I find that a bit of reassurance that I am still nearby is often all they want.

If you currently struggle getting your children into bed then it will be very difficult to change your habbits, but it is important that you understand that your children won't change until you do. A policiy that involves struggling against them will cause them to struggle back against you. In a battle of wills, children often win.

I would suggest trying the methods I've described as well as other similar strategies, whatever feels right to you. Your children will at first continue their usual behaviour but find it much easier to cause disruptions. Don't be tempted to fight back, just try to remain pleasant and calm. Eventually your children will appreciate this new attitude and their behaviour will soon change to show you their appreciation. Good luck!

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