Many people are confused about bisexuality, because in its purest form, it is rare. When I meet another woman who is bisexual, I usually assume that she's just pretending to like girls to turn men onto her. Unfortunately, usually when I meet a girl who I'm genuinely interested in, she assumes this of me.

Since my coming-out, I've been disturbed by the picture that this society has of female bisexuals: crazy girls that will have sex with anyone after a couple beers. Lesbians do not like to date me for this reason, and almost every guy that I dated that I told about my bisexuality got really excited and automatically assumed that I was going to engage in threesomes with him and have sex like a porn star with other girls while he watched. What men don't understand is that I'm ultimately looking for a long-term, monogamous relationship with a male or a female, and that I have high standards for both. I don't have sex on the first date, I don't drink at parties, and I'm not interested in dating every piece of the population. I am not confused about my sexuality and I will not flirt, kiss, or have sex with a girl if I'm in a relationship with a man and vice versa. I can be pleased by one person if I have feelings for them, and the gender doesn't matter.

I did not choose bisexuality; however, I do choose to pursue it by coming out and leaving myself the option of dating another woman. When I was a little kid, I watched The Power Rangers for the pink ranger, not because I looked up to her and wanted to be like her when I got older like a normal little girl, but because I thought she was pretty. It felt good to look at her because I thought she was attractive, the way the rest of the girls looked at Hanson and the Backstreet Boys (come on, back then it was cool!).

Maybe what makes bisexuality so intangible for heterosexuals and gays is that the role a woman plays in a traditional same-sex relationship is different than the role she plays in a traditional heterosexual relationship. I don't go for the classic gentleman. He doesn't need to hold the door for me all the time, and I'll help him carry heavy things up to his place. Believe it or not, I LIKE putting down my money for dinner. I'm not looking for a mooch, but I am a strong provider, and if a man will not let me provide for him half the time, I feel inadequate and useless. Likewise, I'm into a more traditional female. I like a girl that needs to be taken care of, but not babied. I play my role the way I want to regardless of my partner's gender.

So please, girls, if you're going to approach me, do it when you're sober and don't do it by ripping your shirt off and trying to shove your tongue down my throat. And guys, if you ask me if I'm going to have a threesome with you or make out with your girlfriend one more time, I'm going to put my head through a window. I just want something innocent and real!

Learn more about this author, Elizabeth Brighton.
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