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Six Tips for Building a Child's Self-Esteem

Children begin life in a fragile state, eager for love and acceptance. Their earlier years generate a character that changes little as they reach maturity. It's important to give children a warm, safe environment in which they are encouraged to develop their strengths.

1. Make Eye Contact
One of the easiest ways to counter our natural desire to be seen is to make eye contact. A shy, insecure child may prefer to look away and will rarely meet your eye, challenge them to confront situations head on by meeting their gaze when talking to them.

2. Smile
There is nothing more disarming than a friendly smile. No matter what your mood a child will always see it on your face. Children understand facial expressions better than any other. It's the first sign of body language they learn and know it from the cradle.

3. Physical Contact
The human body yearns for tactile affection. While a child who has been physically abused might shy away from contact a vital stage in building self-esteem is to be able to reach out physically and accept physical contact from others. A touch to the shoulder, caress of a cheek, light grip to the hand, stroking hair or a caring hug can send a wealth of unspoken language and love to a child.

4. Praise and Positive Reinforcement
It is important to remember to give praise and positive reinforcement every time a child demonstrates an action or response you encourage. Reprimanding negative behaviour will tear down a child's self-esteem. It's vital to use positive reinforcement to create a positive opinion of their actions and themselves.

5. Vocal Affirmation - "I love you."
Along with positive reinforcement and praise, vocal affirmations of love, caring, respect, and pride can be used at any time. These should always be sincere and unpracticed. It may feel awkward originally but the ease with which one can verbalising warm emotions is a strong indication of self-esteem.

6. The Challenge To Try
Finally, offer challenges for your child. Their sense of self needs to be constantly challenged to become more than they already are. Push for a better personal best. Encourage an outgoing intensity and use the first five tips to highlight all the wonderful accomplishments the child has acheieved. Pause to reflect on each before pushing ahead for new heights. Reward failure as well as success. A child needs to know that their willingness to try is the greatest success.

A healthy self-esteem in a child is the greatest gift a caregiver can offer. Your child's ability to face the world as an adult is reflected by their upbringing and their opinion of themselves. A child who has felt the full effects of a loving home life is much more likely to become a well adjusted, loving adult.

Learn more about this author, Rebecca Laffar-Smith.
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