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Being rude is a classic display of a lack of class. As such, being nice in return is basically a waste of time. Rude people do not respect nice people, but will respect the mirror image of what they project. They are being bullies, and bullies usually back off when they realize that they have met their match.

The last time that I was rudely cut in front of at a check-out counter at a convenience store, I remarked, "That was certainly rude of you to cut in on me, don't you think?" The lady responded that she was in a hurry, to which I replied, "so am I". She sheepishly went to the end of the line and awaited her turn.

Most people have timidly permitted bullies to have their way. However, if you simply call their lack of manners for what they are, they usually behave themselves. Don't respond in anger, but in appropriate disapproval for their lack of manners. You need not be timid about this, only firm in your resolve that you are right, and they are wrong. They usually know that they are being rude, but it is habitual behavior.

Bad behavior should not be rewarded. This character trait probably comes from ignorance, and lack of proper parental training. When it is pointed out in an objective manner, most rude people are seriously embarrassed by the negative attention drawn to them. Always remember to be objective, and state any comment as an observation. If remarks are taken as an insult, then an argument might be forthcoming. In other words, don't make it personal.

When dealing with the behavior of people around you, always remember that almost everyone wants acceptance, even rude people. We never totally forget our mother's instructions to "be nice", even if we don't always follow her instructions. Even as adults, that early imprinting is there, upon our basic psyches. Each of us should have it called to our attention if our behavior is unacceptable.

There are considerable rewards to learning to stand up for yourself. Letting rude people have the upper hand damages our personal egos. Feeling good about yourself can make any day a very good one. Those around you will be grateful for your ability to call out a bully and the rude bully might even be grateful for making them aware of their bad behavior.

Don't give rudeness a free ride. Everyone has a voice with which they can call attention to the bullies, and remind them that others in the world have certain expectations of them. Interestingly, these are probably the same expectations that their own mothers had.

Learn more about this author, Bob Schmidt.
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