A friend who is grieving needs the space, and privacy to do so. Some aspects of grief are too personal to share, even with a close friend. Since every person, and every relationship is unique, no specific method of grieving exists.

One specific suggestion to assist a grieving friend is "be there" for them! At one moment you might serve as a distraction from the pain, and in an instant you might be the strong shoulder upon which to lean. In grief, emotions, and needs can change one moment to the next.

Clich comments, such as "I know how you feel" are useless. While everyone can express sympathy, an individual in the grieving process is suffering in their own kind of hell which is unique to them. No one can presume to intrude upon this private turf. In many ways, the less said, the better it is. Be a listener, and permit the outpouring of emotion that is part of the healing process.

As a friend, exercise great sensitivity regarding saying, or doing things that may remind your friend of their loss. Certain locales, and activities may have special significance to the person grieving. The manner in which an individual processes the variety of losses that they are dealing with is unpredictable. Sensitivity will help their adjustment to the changed reality that they are facing.

Sometimes there are seemingly small things that may be difficult for the grieving friend. This could be something as simple as helping with a "dreaded" household task of cleaning out the room of the deceased, to simply writing an appropriate notice to the local newspaper's obituary column. A good friend should ask how they can be most helpful. With gentle prodding, a useful function is likely to be encountered.

Grieving is an individual activity, that is different each, and every time. Never assume that you totally understand where the source of pain is the greatest. Without being judgmental, simply be there in a loving manner. Try to be of assistance in the same manner that you envision that you would want if the situation were reversed. Time heals all wounds, and surviving on a day by day basis will afford the time needed. A true friend is there for the long haul, and not just for the moment.

Learn more about this author, Bob Schmidt.
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