18 of 97

Write now Article Tools

I knew by the loudness that it was going to be another bad night. My brothers would be coming in drunk, and usually in a mood to fight. That Irish curse was alive and well amongst my siblings. Drinking and fighting usually was the norm during my teen years. So much, in fact, that I often wished, or hoped, someone would die just to end it.
I think it comes from my mother, who was an alcoholic. She must have passed those genes on to my brothers, who drank like fish. Or maybe it came from my workaholic father, who never seemed to be home, and seemed nonplussed by the things going on around him.

Many times in high school, when it would start around 3 a.m., the shouting and loud crashes would start, and my heart would beat fast. I knew it would have to be fight or flight here, and I usually took the high road. Especially when the cops came, which was often. I didn't feel like explaining to the officers that my brothers were screw ups, and I was trying to fight through it so I wouldn't end up the same way.
For almost all of my high school years, this was the norm. Oh sure, there were times when my brothers didn't drink, and we actually had peaceful nights. But these were few and far between. Most nights, it was the fighting and drinking.
This continued on a lesser extent when I went to college, and stopped altogether when my mother died in 1997. Shortly after that, my brothers, who ended up homeless and broke, entered rehab. Mike, who is three years my senior, has been sober for ten years now, and has a wife and child. My other brother Terry has had numerous relapses, but is finally holding his own with the disease. I do say we had a strained relationship, one that may never be repaired. But I cope with it one day at a time, and maybe because I live a few hours away, we don't talk much. But no matter what, the trauma of those days will never leave me, even if they have faded.

Learn more about this author, Kevin Killen.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Reflections: Family conflict?
We want to hear your view. Write now!