Rude remarks usually take us by surprise. We may have innocently commented on something, only to be discounted by a sharp reply. Our first response is to counter right back with a rebuke or a similar put-down. This, however, only leads to further animosity.

What alternatives are available? There are a number of possibilities to choose from.

Ignore the comment.
Leave the room.
Change the subject.

However, in dealing with rude people, I have discovered a method which disarms the offender;
I AGREE WITH THE OFFENDER. Let me explain.

If I'm told that I'm stupid, my reply is, "It's true, I don't know everything."
If a comment is made about my weight, I answer, "I could stand to lose a few pounds."
If my selection of clothing is criticized, my response is, "You may be right. Perhaps I should hire a fashion counselor."

Someone who was drunk once told me that I was a moron. I replied. "That may be true, but I'm not a drunk moron."

The point is, by agreeing with what is said, you have removed the offender's leverage. You have placed yourself in a position to act effectively. If someone agrees with you, what else is left to prove?

For those who suffer from low self esteem, this strategy may not be the best choice. There are other avenues which would serve you better, until you've conquered your personal issues.

Using this course of action requires a strong sense of identity. Being comfortable in your own skin; not proud or arrogant, but valuing your uniqueness, realizing you're not infallible. If we don't value or love ourselves, we are at the mercy of every rude remark or insult.

One definition of rudeness is, "lack of sophistication." With this in mind, respect yourself. Remain in control and become your best friend.

Learn more about this author, Carol Gustke.
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