by Deborah C. Washington

Created on: November 04, 2007

When was the last time someone told you that you did a good job? Unfortunately praise is not a common occurrence in today's society. It's easy to fall into the day to day trap of taking everyone for granted. It is important to not fall into that trap with your children.

Starting at the earliest age, praise is the biggest builder of a child's self-esteem. Whether they pick up their room, set the table or feed the pet, it is important to thank them to show their self-worth and also to tell them what a good job they did. You can do this by simply stating, "Good job!" or you can say, "I like the way you..." or "Do you know how much I appreciate your help?"

Always be sure to express your love to them verbally and with hugs and kisses or even a pat on the back or on the shoulder. Knowing they are loved, helps build up their confidence.

Let your children be involved in things in which they can be successful, yet let them try more difficult things too. If your child ends up being on the bench for a ball game, more than playing, tell him/her that they are good to be their for their team and to be supportive and to cheer on their team mates. You can tell him/her that we all can't be good at everything and point out something that they are good at.

If your child is having a hard time finding his/her niche, encourage them to keep trying. There are so many hobbies and interests to discover in this world. If they find something they really enjoy, but are having a hard time succeeding, let them know that many successful people failed many times before they were victorious. Abraham Lincoln lost eight different elections for various offices before being elected President. Theodor Geisel (Dr. Seuss) had twenty-seven rejections before he published his first book. It makes it all the more rewarding when one has to work for success. Encourage them to keep trying especially if it is something that he/she really enjoys.

Take an interest in your children's interests and note their strengths and weaknesses. Encourage the strengths and acknowledge their efforts when they try in a weak area.

Don't depend on teachers or the world to build up your child's self-esteem. As a parent, you are the biggest self-esteem builder when children are young. As they get older, they will be looking for the approval of their peers. At that age, try to monitor your child's self-esteem to be sure it doesn't take a nose dive during the turbulent teen years.

Finally, love and praise are the best tools for building self-esteem in children. Keep letting them know how much they mean to you and what a blessing they are to the world.

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