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Grief & Loss

How to support a friend who is grieving

Grieving can take place after the loss of any significant person, a pet or anything that was special in our life. The loss of a parent, a child or a spouse can be profound. Grief is however a feeling that everyone of us will feel at some time during our lifetime.


For a friend who has lost a spouse and is grieving. It is important to determine if they already have family or intimate friends that are available to them, and then making your self available with additional support as needed. However, if they are alone and without family the emptiness they feel can be overwhelming. Assure them of your support with frequent calls and assistance when you can.

They will feel removed from the living world for awhile, but secure when they know you are there for them. Listen carefully to what they say, expressing feelings is part of the healing process. Do not rush them into disposing of their loved ones belonging, this they will do when they are ready.

Offer to assist them with taking care of phone calls to insurance companies and the other loose ends. Offer to help and assist them in keeping track of thoughtful gifts and condolences. Encourage and support them in communicating by phone calls and thank you notes to family and friends after funeral.

Friends very often will bake and bring prepared meals to the home with a brief visit and to give much needed hugs. Encourage your friend to eat and drink fluids. As they may in their grief have forgotten to take care of themselves.

There is a personal path in grieving that each person travels alone. With you as their friend by their side, it will help them through it. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Be alert to any change in health or severe depression. Keeping in touch with your friend's family is important if needed.


Encourage your friend to return to their career as soon as it is possible for them to do so. As the structure of this, a familiar routine will give them a brief reprieve. A chance to take a full breath. A time to assimilate, and to begin to reconstruct their life.

For one that is grieving some of the most difficult times are during the holidays. The birthdays and anniversaries and the empty chair in their life, is a profound reminder of their loss of the person as well as the life they used to live.

For your grieving friend life as they have known it has come to a standstill and will forever be changed. Give them a call on these special days. Try to encourage them to handle this time in any way they want to, avoid forcing participation in celebrations or other events that they may not yet be ready for. But keep in touch. Be alert to opportunities to include them in gatherings with friends.

As time changes all things, recovering from grief is a slow process. For some it can take years. But your presence in their life as their friend and your love and support will help them heal.

Learn more about this author, Olivia Bredbenner.
Contact this writer Click here to send author comments or questions.


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