About ten years ago, my parents' health began to decline severely. Although my mother had a sharp mind, her physical health was not good. My father, on the other hand, had excellent physical health, but was diagnosed with beginning Alzheimer's. Because my parents were so close, my mother's frail health took an even greater toll on my father's memory.

It became evident to me and my siblings that they needed to move from their home, which was 45 minutes drive from the closest child, to an assisted living facility. There they would have 24 hour care, if needed, and activities, regular trips and companionship of fellow residents. Plus, they would be much closer to their family physician and in the same town where I work. That way, I could stop by to visit them everyday.

I decided early on in this process that I would look at ever day with them as a gift. Since they were about 85 years old at this point, we did not know how much time they would have left. I decided to enjoy what time we had together. For every visit when my father was close to his old self, I made sure to stay as long as I could to relish the man that I knew so long ago.

Over time, conditions changed. My father, who was the smartest man I have ever known, could no longer tie his shoes, dress himself, shave or perform very simple tasks. Most of the time, he knew who I was, but the gregarious man I had known was replaced instead by someone who was paranoid and confused much of the time.

My mother's health, though improved initially upon the move to assisted living, changed quite quickly in the fall of 2003. She developed an infection that settled around her heart, causing her to develop congestive heart failure. We knew then that the time we had was very precious, because she did not have long to be with us.

When they receive news that their loved one's remaining life is to be very short, most people do adapt an attitude of making the most of what they have. They cherish the little things, they talk about old memories and happier times, they bring their loved one their favorite foods, and they spend a lot of time cherishing the things that are important in life. They make sure to tell each other how important they are to them. My experience was no different.

Two years later, my father also took a quick turn for the worse and we once again faced the same situation. We made sure to make his life the best it could be for the time he had left. He loved his family, so we made sure that he was included in our activities. We took him out to lunch when he felt up to the trip. We sang his favorite songs with him. We told him how important he had been in our lives.

But, these experiences have made a profound difference in my life. They have made me more aware that I should not wait until faced with the news of a short life to fully appreciate life and the people who are important to me. It has changed my attitude to be more appreciative of what I have in life. When it rains, I think of all the good that rain brings to the earth. When it is sunny, I am thankful for the sunshine. When I face problems, I am more apt to look for the opportunity that these bring rather than concentrate upon the negative.

Now I live a life of gratitude, trying to see life as a glass half full rather than a glass half empty.

Learn more about this author, Susan Campbell Payne.
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