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The word is a mighty thing, often much mightier than the deed. By nature we are given the ability to speak at an early age and by nurture we are taught to use it. As adults, how we choose to use speech to interact with each other gives great insight into our character and our mind. Those who choose to speak in a manner that is harsh, abrasive, tacky, or overly brash simply for the purpose of hurting others can be considered rude. How we choose to interact with people who are rude, is also an insight into our character. . . so how do we counteract rudeness?

The answer to that questions is complicated. Anytime the concept of right or wrong is discussed, it must be taken with a grain of salt because each and every situation is different and will result in a different outcome. That said, there are several different approaches to dealing with someone who is consistently and purposely rude. Which approach is right for the situation, is a question for the reader alone to decided given their personality and the current situation.

The first approach to dealing with a rude person is the biblical notion of "turning the other cheek." Simply put, this is the practice of taking rudeness, and dealing out politeness. This method is a conscious decision to take whatever is said and return with politeness and an understanding that this kind of behavior will most likely continue with the same result from both sides. For example: a woman walks up to you while you are drinking a soda. She tells you that you really should be drinking diet. Obviously the woman is not so politely making a comment on your weight. Instead of firing back a retort, the turn the other cheek method tells you to say something along the lines of "I appreciate your insight, however, I am sticking to the drinks I like." While this method doesn't change the situation or solve the problem, it is a valid way to deal with rudeness.

Another approach is the direct route of "What you said is rude and I don't like it." This method is a polite confrontation of the rude behavior in the hopes of a change in speaking attitude. When someone is rude, you simply tell them you thought it was so and ask them to please speak more politely to you in the future. For example: A man walks by you and tells you to "Move!" very abrasively or someone yanks something out of your hand. With this method you would tell them. "I felt that the way you just spoke to me was rude, and I would deeply appreciate it if you tried to be more polite." While this method can invoke a worse situation when used, it could also possibly correct the situation and make future interactions more pleasant.

The third approach to dealing with rudeness, is the "eye for an eye" approach. This is by far the most abrasive approach to dealing with rudeness and can often cause more problems than it solves. With this method, when someone is being rude, you are rude in return; either to make a point that rudeness can hurt, or in retaliation or hope that the behavior will be discouraged from happening again. For example: a woman tells you that your new haircut looks horrible. You respond that you must both see the same hairdresser. While some may find this humorous and witty, others might find this as an incentive to cause a more intense situation.

There really is no right or wrong way to deal with rudeness. The decision on how to act should be made based on the situation and the relationship between the people involved as well as the personality of the speaker. Being rude is a choice and it is never easy to deal with a person who has made the choice to be verbally or physically inconsiderate of other people's feelings, however, it is possible to not only address the problem but change it.

Learn more about this author, Lindsey Stell.
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