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The fear of commitment in a relationship is not uncommon. Our futures depend upon each commitment made at every level. Career choices, our goals in life, and our lifetime mates are all types of commitments that must be made. This can be tough because many of us fear making any kind of decision.

Commitment implies obligation, and being held accountable. Some people have great difficulty with being held accountable because they fear reprisal. If no commitment has been made, there is no obligation. However, relationships are about trust, commitment, and making the decision to accept the responsibilities thereof.

Dealing with any fear at its psychological root is difficult. It requires recognition that a problem exists. Once recognized, the basic cause of the fear can be deeply buried among the difficulties one has suffered in growing up. Digging up "long buried" garbage from the past can be unpleasant, and emotionally taxing.

In order to get past this fear, the establishment of a goal that is more important than obeying the fear, is necessary. As the goal increases in importance, the fear decreases as an obstacle. With the attitude that defeating your fears at whatever cost, any fear can be overcome!

Anyone involved in a relationship in which they fear commitment could consider visiting a professional psychologist, but it might not be necessary. Being of serious mind to overcome the fear, we can sometimes "make a deal" with our subconscious based upon logic. The nature of this process is not difficult.

If one is wanting a committed relationship, remember that it is a two-way street. As such, recognize that the person committing to you is assuming the same obligations, and responsibilities. Recognize that the bond of trust given to your intended is within your capacity. From that point, it is a matter of taking the leap towards committing, just as beginning swimmers do when they decide to jump into the deep end of the swimming pool for the first time.

Recognizing that all fears are an obstacle that can be overcome is a good beginning. The realization that significant rewards will result from overcoming the fear justifies your efforts. When fears are permitted to guide us, our true desires cannot be realized. Attack each fear, one at a time, until the fears no longer have power. Our will-power is an amazing tool when we learn how to use it!

Learn more about this author, Bob Schmidt.
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