Revenge or reunion - what shall it be? Sometimes these two ways of getting your ex back are one and the same. You'll see what I mean!

Here are some exceptional profiles:

SAINT EX-EMPLARY

Here, you were the infidel who precipitated the break-up. Of course that milquetoast was always better than you. Probably better off in a monastery... but why then do you feel so humbled by the breakup? You instigated it! Kind of makes you examine yourself a little closely though - not too comfortable. Plus now, everyone knows your true colors. How to get back at the Goody Two-Shoes?

EX-TREME ROGUE

You were true blue but that "Hun" pillaged, plundered and rode off on a dark steed. What a loser! Had it ALL and threw it away, for what? Didn't deserve you one bit. Why then is there an empty pit where your gut used to be? Maybe it's time for the pendulum of fate to swing the other way... How to get back at the desperado?

The answer to both dilemmas, is "get the ex back!" Now you're on a crusade: Stage the perfect ambush; high road or low? - take your pick.

A TALE OF TWO CAMPS

With every Crusade, there's an Inquisition close at hand. One could retire the Harley trappings and creep around in sackcloth to win the ex's favor; or ditch the "prim and proper" and ride bareback on a horse of a different color - but a lifetime tethered in the wrong camp is no small price to pay for balancing the scales.

If it's a one way ticket to misery you want to bestow on the ex, remember you'll be along for the ride. There are two gates to perdition awaiting: Hers and His. Trot, don't gallop.

OR, you could fly the banner of truce, and be parted congenially - rather than be tented together in a cold war. Remember, take no prisoners. Do unto others as you would have done unto you.

On the other hand, if your relationship is worth salvaging; if you have some kind of common ground to work from, some meeting of the minds, stage a campaign for a shared quest. If you can forge an alliance over any one thing, it's a start. Enlist the ex's help in a petty project, perhaps the sacking of some common peeve, then take it from there - Camelot may yet be on the horizon.

- Merlin

Learn more about this author, Violet Fortune.
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