It was in France. With an opening statement like that you will know that I was on dodgy ground to begin with. My wife and I wanted to go away for a few days for our anniversary. We didn't want to fly so we decided to get the Channel tunnel in the south of England and drive to Normandy.

We trolled the internet (as one does) and found what looked like a very nice B&B in Bayuex. 100 euros per night and we booked for two nights. Once we booked we received an email asking if a 6pm check in was ok. Well, it wasn't really so we asked to check in at 4pm. An email came back stating no, 5pm would be the earliest. So be it.

We obviously took our time getting there and arrived about 5:30. Very big house in the town centre with huge electric gate. Rang the buzzer but nobody home. So we waited and low and behold, 6pm on the dot the hostess finally arrived. How stupid of us to ask to check in before 6pm.

We were escorted in through our private entrance. We were staying in more of an annex of the house and not so much with the little French family complete with four kids. So I didn't really mind. We were shown to this massive room complete with polish oak floorboards, a double bed and a desk. This room was 20foot by 25 foot yet that was all the furniture. The only place to sit was on the bed. A bathroom was added in a 4 x 6 foot corner of the bedroom. So tiny it could not even accommodate a full size bath. The shower was one of those hand held job that comes off the top of the bath tap, but there was no hook to hang the showerhead on. So showering was a one handed affair as the other was occupied holding the showerhead.

The radiators had individual controls but as we discovered as the room grew colder, these controls were academic as the heating was controlled from the main house. As there was no TV, radio or even a clock in the room it was deadly quiet. No carpets or furniture to absorb any sound. As we sat on the bed waiting to go out for dinner it was so quiet in the room we could hear each other swallow.

After spending the night on the rock hard bed which felt conversed as to roll each of us out on our respective sides, we thought perhaps we should leave. Any one would. Everything about the room was very uncomfortable.

So off to the very continental breakfast of hard rolls and jam and to break the news to our hostess. My wife broke the news with the "Sorry, we have to go back to England early" routine. To my surprise the hostess took it very well and said she would prepare the bill. She then presented me with a bill for two nights. I pointed out that we were merely canceling our second night's stay which I understood carried a 15% cancellation charge and I was happy to pay that but I would not be paying for two full nights. Then the argument began. I could see that we were getting nowhere and she was adamant to fleece me for the full two nights. So it was time to fight back and tell her that her B&B was not up to scratch. "What do you mean?" she asked angrily. "Well for one thing, the bed is hard" I replied matter of factly. At that point I found out where France hides their nuclear weapon. She went ballistic. "You are incorrect. You are wrong. You are wrong" she screamed. "You are bad people. Terrible people! I do not want you here. You are wrong!"

She wrote a new bill for one night only while she shook with rage. I paid for the one night and did pay an extra 15% although she did not ask for the extra. So I did my bit to give the French another reason to hate the English even more and she did her bit for Viva La France.

Learn more about this author, Travis Casey.
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