The Walker: The Bus Stop Memoirs

1.

I long forgot how to drive a car after finding out that I had narcolepsy. I had little use for a motor vehicle and I became too afraid to drive. The last time I did, I woke up on a curb with a tire blown out. That was nearly 12 years ago. Since then I have walked to and from point A to point B. It has been a transition and a battle for independence. It also has been a revelation for me as well. I have learned how base and visual society is. My perspective of life has been shaped merely by walking and seeing people react to me as I travel by foot and as I wait for a bus. When a person appears to be without certain things sometimes the perception becomes that the individual must also lack other material possessions and necessities. They are viewed as undesirable, not quite worthy of a glance or acknowledgement. Indeed society is governed by what they can see, and not the content of the book. The people in my life that chose to open my book found that I was a normal human being with a challenge. I do not fall asleep every ten seconds but I do experience unsettling instances at some of the most inopportune times. Other than that, I work, I am responsible and I am involved in causes that I believe in. Somehow when I am walking all those attributes take a back seat to the preconceived notion that I am a loser in life.

I actually enjoy walking and I think experiencing what I have, I probably would even if I did not have narcolepsy. When I am in a car with someone I don't get to notice the details of what all is around me. Truths elude me and what is beautiful fails to be discovered. When I am walking life moves at my pace. Rain is a blessing because I can stop and smell it. The sky swallows the ground and I feel how large the world is when I can see it before me. My life is a challenge but not a curse. If I could walk everywhere then I would. I do see people drive past me that look at me like transient garbage as they cruise along. I could never approach a woman while walking, as she would already deem me to be a louse. If the measure of a human being is his or her physical appearance, or material wealth, what happens when all of that is gone? What is left of that person? What was there to truly begin with? I know that I am someone because I have had to redefine myself due to a lack of certain material goods. I find it amusing that a car holds such social importance. Character and ethics are the condiments to those ideals

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