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Confusion

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It really depends on the situation, I would say for the most part it creates confusion, especially in the early years of adoption. Keep in mind a lot of babies and kids are given up for adoption because the birth parents can not take care of them; or does not want to take care of them.

Abandonment is a big issue for kids that are adopted. Joining a new family is a scary and confusing thing. While it does work both ways, I have never met anyone who was adopted think it was acceptance. You need to understand what is going through a child's mind when they are adopted. Their will always be a sense of worthlessness. No matter how happy you make that child, they will always wonder if they will be given up again. This factor is also compounded if the adopting couple has issues, and splits up or divorces after they adopt a child(s).

I speak from experience, I am adopted. I was adopted when I was 3 years old. My adopted parents could not have kids, they adopted my twin brother, and my two older biological sisters. They did not want to split us up, and when we came from Korea, it was a scary thing. We were confused, here we go from a poor orphanage in another country to a 5 bedroom home in the United States. My biological mother died giving birth to me and my brother, and my biological father could not take care of all of us, so he gave us all up for adoption.

While my life has had it's ups and downs, and I was not always the best kid growing up, when I was younger I always was afraid and confused of what would happen if my adopted parents no longer wanted me. Soon after we were adopted my adopted parents split, and got a divorce when I was 11. That created even more confusion, I felt unloved, I felt responsible for them splitting. I was confused on whether or not my parents regretted adopting us.

Being an adult now, I know now that I am and was accepted back then, but as a child I couldn't recognize that, because I didn't understand what it was.

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